Hobbo's Poems
A quirky look at life from a Yorkshire poet and his dog's perspective
E.I.F poetry challenge
The ballad of Adolf and Winnie
"Winnie," said young Churchill's mother As they sauntered along by 'canal "You don't seem right settled at 'arrow I think what you need's a pen pal." "There's a boy from a nice Austrian fam'ly As I'm told that is looking for fame You're sure to have plenty in common Adolf 'itler's the little lad's name." "I don't want a pen pal," sulked Winston His mouth turning down in a pout "Besides, I don't speak any German And he won't know no English or nowt." "It will better your school education" Insisted mother, a woman called Jen "Your CV will look well impressive When you become a great leader of men." So Winston began to write Adolf Of the 'I am well, hope you're well' kind To which Adolf responded politely "Yes, I'm tickety-boo you will find." At first it went all nicey-nicey They'd write once a month, thereabouts But as'itler grew up he grew dafter And Churchill began voicing doubts. Things worsened between them right sharpish When Winston became the P.M His letters to Adolf censorious Using words that were quick to condemn. "You can't blame the Jews for your problems How dare you say, all is their fault? And as for invading poor Poland Your armies should grind to a halt." The Fuhrer were quick to respond though Not scared to call 'shovel a spade So Winnie gave him 'V is for vict'ry' To show 'Germans as we weren't afraid. The battle swung one way then t'other As things tend to do in a war With 'absence of good refereeing It was hard keeping track of the score. Dunkirk, Winston claimed was a vict'ry And 'Battle of Britain an' all But Adolf 'ad u-boats and Nazis So really, it was more like two-all. Churchill demanded surrender Sick to his teeth of the wars "If you don't then I'll bring in the allies And my mates are bigger than yours." Then up stepped the Yanks with their money Glenn Miller in 'mood wi' his swing Big guns, bigger wallets, biggest voices Nylon stockings 'as made the girls sing. Their boss were called Eisen 'Ower Or Ike to his pals, such as Winnie He insisted on being in charge like Leaving Winston in iger-nominy. Thousands of brave men in ships Were sent off to Normandy, France Many lost their lives in the fighting But the allies left nothing to chance. They sent over food, tanks and soldiers Who the French ladies met with a cheer When 'itler saw 'size of this army He knew he had plenty to fear. Adolf scurried away from the fighting And whilst Germany was turned upside down This coward, who Winston stood up to Wed his lover and mistress Frau Braun. 'Allies found Adolf's bunker in Berlin The place were a bit of a mess Churchill's letters were lying on 'doormat Stamped, "No longer at this address." So, if someone suggests you a pen pal As they're bound to do sooner or later Be sure to check out their credentials Don't get stuck with a nasty dictator. https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/83340452/posts/2965111094
who knew?
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Whew! A work of epic proportun poprotpr proertiens size. Well done, and my ‘ats off to a profrsesh peforesson perportin dang good writer.
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Gee fancks!
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nowt = nothing?
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correct
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Thank you Ingrid for keeping us all interested, entertained and educated these few months. I look forward to your future work. Dauphy asked me to ask if you are keeping your HOBBO award well polished. I assured him you have given it pride of place.😂😂
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That’s a work of genius! Never knew they were penpals!
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Thanks Vinny. They were bosom buddies at one point!
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Haha!
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