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Best holiday ever

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Best holiday ever
We should never have chosen off peak
It was raining, the car sprang a leak
David squashed granny's best hat
Baby Alfie was sick on the cat.

On the moors, dad ran over a ram
An hour later, we're stuck in a jam
We got there too late for the ferry
Mum found the bar and got merry.

We arrived there to find we'd left gran
At the caff, with a man from Japan
Our five star was under construct
And all of the rooms double booked.

The bathroom and toilet were dirty
The waiters and waitresses shirty
My purse and my handbag got nicked
And our sightseeing coaches were bricked.

The food gave young Lucy the trots
And Christopher broke out in spots
German measles, our french doctor said
And confined him to ten days in bed.

Paragliding, my mum sprained her back
Sadly, dad had a mild heart attack
We learned from a broker named Khalid
Our insurance was no longer valid.

Going home, despite begging and pleading
Dad got a ticket for speeding
When the copper told dad he could start
Our tyres were as flat as a fart.

Once home, track-traced for Covid 19
So then, yes you've guessed, quarantine
And because we are now isolating
This vacation gets zero star rating.

By Hobbo

A contemporary poet with a Yorkshire sense of humour

10 replies on “Best holiday ever”

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