Dauphy: Woah Hobbo, no! Don’t go there!
Hobbo: In a spirit of educating our readers, I feel that I must.
Dauphy: Okay, but I’m not taking the stick for this.
Hobbo: Fair enough….. People of a certain age (me), never use the C bomb in mixed company, and rarely even in all male company. Yorkshire, however, is the only place where the C bomb can be used in polite conversation without even raising a flicker of disapproval. In Yorkshire, where English is spoken as the Good Lord intended, the C bomb is simply a contraction of the words could and not, or couldn’t. When couldn’t is pronounced in a Tyke accent, it comes out as cun’t, pronounced exactly like the C bomb.
Even to Tykes, this can occasionally be confusing. For instance, if my mate says to me,”Yer cun’t”, is he telling me that I can’t do something, or is he calling me a name which would have had my gran reaching for the carbolic soap? Everything needs taking in context. here is a little example:
The Yorksher C bomb. Tha' cun't use a comb Cos thee 'airs a bit sparse, And tha' cun't marry 'er Cos she's gorra' fat arse. You have no requirement for a comb Because you are almost bald, and you could not tie the knot with her Because she is rather a large lady!
Dauphy: I thought you explained that quite well, but I still think you are in dangerous territory.
Hobbo: We’ll see…