The Yorksher C Bomb

Dauphy: Woah Hobbo, no! Don’t go there!

Hobbo: In a spirit of educating our readers, I feel that I must.

Dauphy: Okay, but I’m not taking the stick for this.

Hobbo: Fair enough….. People of a certain age (me), never use the C bomb in mixed company, and rarely even in all male company. Yorkshire, however, is the only place where the C bomb can be used in polite conversation without even raising a flicker of disapproval. In Yorkshire, where English is spoken as the Good Lord intended, the C bomb is simply a contraction of the words could and not, or couldn’t. When couldn’t is pronounced in a Tyke accent, it comes out as cun’t, pronounced exactly like the C bomb.

Even to Tykes, this can occasionally be confusing. For instance, if my mate says to me,”Yer cun’t”, is he telling me that I can’t do something, or is he calling me a name which would have had my gran reaching for the carbolic soap? Everything needs taking in context. here is a little example:

The Yorksher C bomb.

Tha' cun't use a comb
Cos thee 'airs a bit sparse,
And tha' cun't marry 'er
Cos she's gorra' fat arse.

You have no requirement for a comb
Because you are almost bald,
and you could not tie the knot with her
Because she is rather a large lady!

Dauphy: I thought you explained that quite well, but I still think you are in dangerous territory.

Hobbo: We’ll see…

26 Comments on “The Yorksher C Bomb

  1. Not dangerous. A few of us here almost adult, seen some, heard some stuff. Some worse, some not. We all enjoy a roll when Sir Hobb takes us to the edge and leaves us there to chuckle. Sometimes I don’t understand the French folk which reminds me of a meme I run across often that never fails to give me pause. A good’n, PM. NKCS (Not Keyboard Coffee Safe)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Love it!
    See, where im from the c word is used as a term of endearment almost as much as its not, so I have a very love/hate relationship with it.
    I do use it – as you know – but your way is definitely classier!! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚πŸ–€

    Liked by 2 people

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