This was a genuine conversation in the pharmacist’s yesterday. Fortunately there were no other customers. Readers of a delicate disposition need read no further…
Hobbo: Have you anything for hemorrhoids please?
Hobbo: (Shouting) Hemorrhoids, have you anything for hemorrhoids?
Chemist: Emma who? I can’t hear you. Can you lower your mask please.
Hobbo: (Does so) Hemorrhoids, piles, have you anything for piles?
Chemist: Oh! You should have said! (indicates articles on shelf) We have these or this.
Chemist: Suppositories. You put them up your bottom.
Hobbo: Er, I’ll give them a miss thanks. What’s the other.
Chemist: It’s a cream. My mother has piles, and she swears by it!
Hobbo: What does she say? it doesn’t bloody work!
Chemist: She swears it helps her.
Hobbo: Okay, I’ll take some. How much is it?
Chemist: £4.20 for the small one(indicates Lilliputian sized box) or £6.20 for this (indicates box large enough to treat a platoon of hemorrhoid sufferers for the next 10 years).
Hobbo: Better take the large one…