Conquering Billinge Hill

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Conquering Billinge Hill

Now, if tha's gorra taste for adventure
And tha' likes an adrenaline thrill
For a trip that'll set thee pulse racing
Try to conquer the great Billinge Hill.

Tha' mun pick a day when it's sunny
St. Helens is often in cloud
And if by some wonder, tha' meks it
Tha' mun take a pic, standing proud.

Tha'll need lots of specialist equipment
If tha' wants to get nearer to 'sky
This is no little lump that were talking
This monster's six hundred foot high.

Tha'll 'ave to mek base camp at 'chippy
And stock up tha' sack wi' provisions
Like porridge and bog roll and such like
And a compass what works wi' precision.

First feller to try it, a local
Sadly, run out o' chips 'alfway up
He could've made do wi' a cuppa
But forgot to bring wi' him a cup.

Mountaineers by the dozen 'ave tried it
Sir Edmund explained, cun't be plainer
Tha' mun have a good pair of fell boots
And none of your fancy Nike trainers.

Mek sure thee affairs 'ave been settled
If tha's worth owt, tha'd best make a will
There's more than just lives 'ave been lost
In that lay-by, at bottom of 'ill.

Mek sure tha' tells gran where tha's goin'
In case tha' gets lost on the way
And tha'd best take a clean pair of undies
As tha'll not do it all in a day.

If tha' meks it all 'way up to 'summit
The view is a sight to behold
Tha' can see all 'way back to the bottom
And mek out my house, so I'm told.

So, if tha' is one of 'handful what does it
Plant a flag, tap it in wi' a whack
Be reet careful on 'long journey homeward
And give theesen pat on the back.

Billinge Hill is the highest point in the borough of St. Helens, UK. It is known by locals as ‘The lump’.

Tha’: You or your

Thee; You or your

Mun; Must

Theesen: Yourself

26 Comments on “Conquering Billinge Hill

  1. Isn’t that near Liverpool? In which case shouldn’t it be a Scouse poem! Definitely don’t forget the bog roll at any rate πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Two reads. One to see what you had. Second in what I image to be a bit of the tongue. Swell either way, but woulda been fine to hear the accent proper. Thankee. Now coffee-safe, I press on.

    Liked by 1 person

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