The works trip
The works trip
There's a little known fact'ry in Yorksher
That's as rare as an 'oss what lays eggs,
Making shoes just for one footed people
Them as lacks quite a full set o' legs.
One half of 'fact'ry makes left shoes,
Whilst t'other specialises in 'right,
And 'cos 'shoes were selling like 'ot cakes,
Operations went reet through the night.
The two halves of 'fact'ry don't mix much,
Except when it's time for a brew,
Or at lunchtime, a quick game of footy,
Would spring up, on the spec, impromptu.
Charlie Clegg went to work in this fact'ry,
After flunking 'is exams at school,
And because of 'is Catholic leanings
He were put in the left footed pool.
Once a year they would 'ave a works outing,
Organised by the new boy or girl,
So, wi' Cleggy being 'newest of 'rookies,
He were asked if he'd give it a whirl.
Usually, they repaired to an alehouse
Where they all got as pissed as a fart,
But Cleggy were more into culture,
Like statues and paintings and art.
So he purchased some entrancing tickets
To 'world famous Pontefract Gallery,
What 'ad loan of a painting from Barnsley,
Of a big local lass, Moaning Valerie.
They made it to 'gallery, all sober,
And admired the celebrity painting.
Some of 'em moved close to tears,
And some as was almost a-fainting.
On 'way homeward they sloped off to 'pub,
One nicknamed,'The man with two bricks'.
A chance for the boys and the girls
From both sides of fact'ry to mix.
Charlie boy copped off wi' a lass,
Called Rita, who worked on the right,
There is no need to go into details,
All I'll say is, he 'ad a good night.
The trip were the best, so successful,
Yorksher folk 'aving cultural veins
And Cleggy were con-grat-yoo-lated,
All agreed, he should do it again.
Both halves 'aving got along famous
Just showed them what people can do,
When we tolerate what makes us different,
And we each try the other one's shoe.