The works trip

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The works trip 

There's a little known fact'ry in Yorksher 
That's as rare as an 'oss what lays eggs, 
Making shoes just for one footed people 
Them as lacks quite a full set o' legs. 

One half of 'fact'ry makes left shoes, 
Whilst t'other specialises in 'right, 
And 'cos 'shoes were selling like 'ot cakes, 
Operations went reet through the night. 

The two halves of 'fact'ry don't mix much, 
Except when it's time for a brew, 
Or at lunchtime, a quick game of footy, 
Would spring up, on the spec, impromptu. 

Charlie Clegg went to work in this fact'ry, 
After flunking 'is exams at school, 
And because of 'is Catholic leanings 
He were put in the left footed pool. 

Once a year they would 'ave a works outing, 
Organised by the new boy or girl, 
So, wi' Cleggy being 'newest of 'rookies, 
He were asked if he'd give it a whirl. 

Usually, they repaired to an alehouse 
Where they all got as pissed as a fart, 
But Cleggy were more into culture, 
Like statues and paintings and art. 

So he purchased some entrancing tickets 
To 'world famous Pontefract Gallery, 
What 'ad loan of a painting from Barnsley,
 Of a big local lass, Moaning Valerie. 

They made it to 'gallery, all sober, 
And admired the celebrity painting. 
Some of 'em moved close to tears, 
And some as was almost a-fainting. 

On 'way homeward they sloped off to 'pub, 
One nicknamed,'The man with two bricks'. 
A chance for the boys and the girls 
From both sides of fact'ry to mix. 

Charlie boy copped off wi' a lass, 
Called Rita, who worked on the right,
 There is no need to go into details, 
All I'll say is, he 'ad a good night. 

The trip were the best, so successful,
 Yorksher folk 'aving cultural veins 
And Cleggy were con-grat-yoo-lated, 
All agreed, he should do it again. 

Both halves 'aving got along famous
 Just showed them what people can do, 
When  we tolerate what makes us different, 
And we each try the other one's shoe.

18 Comments on “The works trip

  1. This sounds like one of my dad’s ‘cultural’ outings with friends which quickly descend into drunkenness…I like how you brought in the message at the end!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Left of right they still found a love of art and of course, good beer. Geat story, Hobbo, with a clever message. Instead of trying to put one’s best foot forward, maybe just try to embrace both feet. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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