The blocked flue
Love, this is more than routine,
Your flue needs a bloody good clean
And why are you looking so shocked,
I'm not kidding lady, it's blocked,
And it isn't just covered in smears,
I don't think you've used it for years.
Your back passage needs a stiff sweep,
But I'm telling you missus, I'm cheap.
A poke with a rod's what's required,
I can do it without getting tired,
And that husband of yours, who's inept,
You can tell him, your chimney's been swept.