Hobbo's Poems
A quirky look at life from a Yorkshire poet and his dog's perspective
The love life of a cucumber
The love life of a cucumber
You are having me on,
You are doing a number,
That's got to be wrong,
A female cucumber!
I am speaking the truth,
The male ones are bitter,
No, don't be uncouth,
Stop laughing, don't titter.
Well, how do they mate?
Does she lie on her side,
If he starts to vibrate,
Will she go all green eyed?
As far as I know,
They make use of the bees,
And I am telling you so,
You don't mix she's up with he's.
Hobbo's Poems 
Absolutely true. We have one plant in the greenhouse that’s completely male flowers. It’s like walking into the Oriental Club, and realising you’ve forgotten to wear a tie. 😂
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🤣 Thank you Misky. Can you tell before they flower then?
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No you can’t, but you can buy all female seeds or plants. The all female are double the price. But a good plant should have both. Pinch off the males (narrow stem at the base of blossom)and keep the females (swollen stem at the base of the blossom) on the plant.
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👍 Thanks. You could start a gardening blog!
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I had one for years but I have a cookery blog that’s more fun. https://miskcooks.wordpress.com
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👍
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Ay caramba?!
A sandwich cumcuber! 😎
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😂 very good David!
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Fascinating. We had a male and female kiwi fruit for years. The bees never managed to ummm… consummate the union. Well, one way or another, it was a childless marriage. But they looked pretty on the tank stand.
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🤣 Unrequited love eh!
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yup. bees r us failed the consumer
😀
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Hehehe!
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Must admit this is my first step into the turbulent and torrid waters of veggie porn. Did not realize the escapades of the cucumbers that were transpiring in our garden last year, pandemic be damned. (Brilliant verse, BTW)
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🤣 Thank you. It is a seedy underbelly of lascivious morals and sordid passions down on that vegetable patch. Pleased you enjoyed it!
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😂🥒
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