The love life of a cucumber

Photo by Lo on
The love life of a cucumber

You are having me on,
You are doing a number,
That's got to be wrong,
A female cucumber!

I am speaking the truth,
The male ones are bitter,
No, don't be uncouth,
Stop laughing, don't titter.

Well, how do they mate?
Does she lie on her side,
If he starts to vibrate,
Will she go all green eyed?

As far as I know,
They make use of the bees,
And I am telling you so,
You don't mix she's up with he's.

15 Comments on “The love life of a cucumber

  1. Absolutely true. We have one plant in the greenhouse thatโ€™s completely male flowers. Itโ€™s like walking into the Oriental Club, and realising youโ€™ve forgotten to wear a tie. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Fascinating. We had a male and female kiwi fruit for years. The bees never managed to ummm… consummate the union. Well, one way or another, it was a childless marriage. But they looked pretty on the tank stand.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Must admit this is my first step into the turbulent and torrid waters of veggie porn. Did not realize the escapades of the cucumbers that were transpiring in our garden last year, pandemic be damned. (Brilliant verse, BTW)

    Liked by 1 person

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