Downsizing

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Downsizing

The Cleggs met at a works Christmas party,
For each one, their very first crush,
Now married for thirty-odd years,
After six livin' ovver the brush.

Two fine strappin' lads they'd been blessed wi'
Who'd each flit the nest one be one,
First, Burnley, to feed 'pie addiction,
And t'other, Australia, for sun.

Their house were becoming too large now,
Enough space for soldiers to billet,
But lodgers named Eric and Ernie,
Their black Labradors, helped to fill it.

Dog's lives, are shorter than people's,
And 'ousehold became 'umanized,
With two on 'em rattlin' around it,
A decision were made to downsize.

Mr Clegg says,"We need summat smaller,
Where 'roof on it sits nice an' low,"
Mrs Clegg says,"Ee, tha's a duck egg,
I think as tha' means bungalow.!

The missus were 'brains of the couple,
Says,"We need a reet good stratagem,"
So, she got on the phone to an agent,
Who took lots of nice pics of their gem.

They started to think through their options,
An apartment - that's posh talk for flat,
But they 'ad things called maintenance charges,
And the savvy Cleggs didn't want that.

Gettin' to grips with the interweb,
The Cleggses drew up a short list
Of things wi' a bit of potential,
And some as were too good to miss.

First one they looked at were lovely,
New kitchen, a luxury indeed,
But, wi' no sign of a tub in the bathroom,
No way, were they gonna proceed.

Next 'un they found, what a beauty
Brand new, wi' a smashing big lawn,
Which is when Mr Clegg put his foot down,
"I'd be mowing, from dusk until dawn!"

Desp'rate they carried on looking,
A near miss, caused a bit of a spat,
Mister Clegg thought 'place were perfect,
But missus said,"Tha' couldn't swing a cat."

Month after month they spent searching,
Nothing quite fitting the bill,
And wi' t'other 'ouse 'aving sold quickly,
It were makin' the pair on 'em ill.

Then all of a sudden, they found it,
The retirement 'ome of their dreams,
Which they toasted wi' best Yorhshire bitter,
And a packet of nice custard creams.

For many a long year, they lived there,
'Appy they'd found the right place,
Till they both kicked the bucket together
And died wi' big smiles on their face.

25 Comments on “Downsizing

  1. 🀣🀣. At first I thought it was autobiographical. But the ending put the nails in that idea!! Unless you are the ghost writer of WP?!?!πŸ‘»πŸ‘» As always I love your Yorksher poems – the lilt of them, the voice. They have their own gentle humour too – slightly different from your other work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks worms. It is part autobiographical because we are currently looking for somewhere smaller. Hopefully it will have the same happy ending, but not for many years yet, I hope! πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 2 people

      • Good luck with the house hunting. It’s a helluva business. Right garage. Awful kitchen. Huge garden, tiny living room. Roof needs work but great views. We spent three years hunting a while back. We either weren’t hungry enough or were too precious. Still where we started. Only, thanks to El flood, it is a much improved version of itself.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. We have only been at it a couple of months, but you are right, there is always a compromise to be made. Either that, or win the lottery!😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this one, Hobbo. We just downsized and I LOVE it. My husband is sentimental and having a harder time in spite of it being his idea. He is finally coming around though. All one floor – yes!

    Liked by 1 person

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