Dog Groomer

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com
Dog Groomer 
(to the tune of Wild Rover)

I was a dog groomer for almost five years
And I learned over time, it's the small ones to fear.
I've now made my money from clipping canines,
My grooming days over, no more spend my time.

And it's no, not ever,
No, not ever, no more
Will I groom your dog, Rover,
now that I'm not poor.

I went to a lady, who had a Great Dane,
And she said,"I am sorry, my dog is a pain.
He's fearsome and vicious and hence in a muzzle,"
But all the lad needed, a bit of a cuddle.

And it's no, not ever,
No, not ever, no more
Will I groom your dog, Rover
now that I'm not poor.

My next customer had a little Shih Tzu,
Which tried hard to bite, I said, "Buddy, hey you!
I am the dog groomer, and I am the boss,
If you want to stay scruffy, then that is your loss."

And it's no, not ever,
No, not ever, no more
Will I groom your dog, Rover
now that I'm not poor.

So, now that my scissors are hung out to dry,
I've unplugged my clippers and never ask why,
To be a dog groomer, is simply not it,
It's dirty and smelly and covered in shit!

And it's no, not ever
No, not ever, no more
Will I groom your dog, Rover
now that I'm not poor.

10 Comments on “Dog Groomer

    • I used to love doing the big dogs. That made me laugh about your friends dog because dauphy’s skull is as hard as a nut. He uses it to open doors, and I once dropped a log on top of his head by accident. He never flinched!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Ahhh, that little yorkie looks like my Rivers did. I miss the little guy and was thankful for the sweet groomers he had. But – I wouldn’t like the job myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We do miss our canine friends so when they pass away. I loved grooming really, but it could literally be a shitty job sometimes. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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