The disturbing case of the straight banana

Photo by Vanessa Loring on
The disturbing case of the straight banana

I went to the shops
to buy something saleable,
it was Aldi, by chance,
there are others available.

A need for some bits,
no intention of stopping,
like most modern men
I'm allergic to shopping.

Narrowly avoiding
a three-cart collision,
attracted to something
in peripheral vision,

all on their own,
one ripe bunch of bananas,
strange fellows these,
not from the Bahamas.

They were straight as a rod,
yes straight as a die.
I had to have them,
though I didn't know why.

Dauphy, impressed
said, "My word bwana,
that has to be
the world's straightest banana."

I tickled the web
to find why they were straight,
a small paragraph
at the end of page eight

told all that I needed.
The fruit had been bred
to fit extra in boxes 
so that more could be fed.

Genetically modified!
I don't like G.M
and in a bit of a huff,
I wrote the P.M.

Investigation would follow,
nothing dismissive,
only three short years later
I got a curt missive.

The G.M banana
had been a mistake,
which, with one yellow paper
the rules they'd remake.

My banana complaint
had struck a raw nerve,
I could unwind, assured
from now on. they'd be curved.

With a song in my heart,
to the shops I now went,
sure as eggs come from chooks
that my fruit would be bent.

There, on the fruit aisles
bent bananas, woohoo!
A commonsense victory
but here's something new...

When I thought all the problems
had been put to bed
the entire fruit and veg range
was bright, postbox red.

22 Comments on “The disturbing case of the straight banana

  1. LOL. I’m glad straight bananas are a thing of the past and we get our fruit and veggies bent. And I loved the line: “like most modern men / I’m allergic to shopping.” Love the humor, as always.

    Liked by 1 person

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