50 ways

Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com
50 Ways 
(A parody of 50 ways to leave your lover by Paul Simon)

The problem is all inside the pan, it's plain to see
The answer is easy, if you will listen to me,
I'd like to help in your fight to be onion free,
There must be 50 ways to leave your liver.

I said, it's really not for me to explain to you
Disposal methods for getting rid of unwanted food
But I'll reiterate the message I have for you;
There must be 50 ways to leave your liver
50 ways to leave your liver;

Just leave it in the pan, Stan,
Give it your Gran, Fran,
No need to eat her, Rita,
Live life, liver-free.

Put it in the bed, Fred,
No need to play dead, Jed,
Under the table, Mabel,
Live life, liver-free..

Feed it to the cat, Pat,
Wipe it on the mat, Nat,
Send it to the zoo, Lou,
Live life, liver-free.

Disguise it as a brick, Rick,
No need to be sick, Nick,
Put it in the bin, Lynne,
Live life, liver-free.

I said, It hurts me to see you being sick,
Believe me when I say, I don't want to take the Mick,
You said, that's great and would I explain real quick
About the 50 ways.
I said, Let's sleep on it tonight,
I can explain again by the morning light
And you can see if you got the whole thing right
About the 50 ways to leave your liver
50 ways to leave your liver.

Just leave it in the pan, Stan,
Give it your Gran, Fran,
No need to eat her, Rita,
Live life, liver-free.

Put it in the bed, Fred,
No need to play dead, Jed,
Under the table, Mabel,
Live life, liver-free..

Feed it to the cat, Pat,
Wipe it on the mat, Nat,
Send it to the zoo, Lou,
Live life, liver-free.

Disguise it as a brick, Rick,
No need to be sick, Nick,
Put it in the bin, Lynne,
Live life, liver-free.

13 Comments on “50 ways

  1. Sounds 🤣 like a killer plan. But you have to leave it quick and without hesitation else it grows back on you. Livers are cunning that way. And hell! You don’t want some rejected liver saving your life!

    Liked by 1 person

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