Influence I'm an internet icon with a Facebook facade, an Instagram idol who tries really hard. I'm a Snapchat soldier, a TikTok teaser, a WhatsApp wizard, a Just Eat geezer. I'm a YouTube Yoda, an iPhone banker, a LinkedIn lover, a WikiLeaks wanker. I'm a Google giggler, a Hangouts honey, a Netflix knobhead making online money. I'm an Influencer, that's what they say; a sad, shallow hero of our Internet age.