Levelling Up

Photo by Ono Kosuki on Pexels.com
Levelling Up

A storm is a-coming,
fasten the doors;
we've never known anything
like it before.

Lock up the children,
batten the hatches;
make sure it's broadcast
on all the despatches.

Send for the army,
ground all the planes,
quick, turn off the gas
and stop all the trains.

Tie-down your caravans;
anchor your boats;
empty your savings;
curry your goats.

Stay safe in bed,
eat emergency food;
talk to your gran
while she's in the mood.

Board up the windows,
take books from the shelves;
the cars in the garage
can fend for themselves.

The P.M should call
an emergency state;
do it right now,
before it's too late.

Stock up on bog-rolls,
fill the freezer with grub;
this baby is coming
down South, we're the hub.

Hang on old friend,
the weather report
say's the storm's missing us
and is heading up North.

Thank goodness for that,
I mean it, by golly;
We can cancel all this,
they'll make do with a brolly.

In the UK,. the government has promised a fairer share of resources for the North of the country, even appointing a 'levelling up minister'.  This is viewed with some cynicism by many Northerners. People living in the South are sometimes referred to as 'Southern Softies' because Northerners have a reputation for being more resilient. I'm sure this is completely untrue.
Brolly:  UK slang for umbrella

19 Comments on “Levelling Up

  1. Ultimately you get some Surrey-based civil servant, and they stand and look down Whitehall, and they think “would I rather be here or up in Halifax or Gateshead?” And that feeling drives how much anything changes.

    It takes brave moves like sticking things like the DVLA out in Swansea.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good to see the weather minister got into action and turned that baby ’round! No doubt it was just an election stunt though. Oh golly. What a polly. Caught up in the brolly folly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m only a softie when it comes to winter. And cold. And 95mph wind that threatens to down the old trees behind my house. And removing fox poopers from my pots and planters. 😂 And cold. Did I mention I hate cold.

    Liked by 1 person

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