Her wardrobe

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Her wardrobe

Her twelve modules, full to busting,
most of which is gathering dust in
rail on rail of last year's fashion,
bargain buys and must have passion,

cowboy boots for rootin' tootin'
stiletto heels for high-falutin'
balls with flowing, silken dresses,
scarves for her abundant tresses,

bras to lift and some to flatter,
headwear for the maddest hatter.
Her stockpile of fancy knickers
is enough to make the vicar's

wife blush red and as for stockings,
I daren't tell you, it's too shocking.
Trousers long and pants too short,
fashion fads that really ought

never to have seen the sunshine,
like that plunging, daring neckline.
She is such a fashionista;
clothes worn once and that was Easter.

Me, I've got three pairs of shreddies,
same with socks, and Choo's not made his
brass from me, I have two pairs,
a few T-shirts, but who needs airs,

a pair of jeans and denim jacket;
not for me this costa-packet;
then she wonders why I glare
at daily claims, she's nowt  to wear.

Shreddies:  UK, underpants    nowt: Yorkshire slang, nothing

28 Comments on “Her wardrobe

  1. This is a brilliant poem. πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ πŸ‘ I personally have no idea what you’re whinnying about πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ but it is perfectly formed. A fabulous write.

    Liked by 3 people

      • Mr Worms packs a day pack for a week away. And I pack a month’s worth for 3 days. Can’t explain it. I don’t consider myself at all high maintenance either. No make up. No hair dryer. Shop at op shops. I think men can get away with wearing the same thing over and over more readily. In fact I believe some TV personality here tested the theory!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. What marvelous rhyming and meter! This was such fun to read. I loved it.

    But in all truth, I’ll tell you that Mr M has 6 times the number of shoes that I have, and he just ordered another pair online yesterday, and enough shirts to keep him going with a fresh one daily for months. I have more handbags, but I’m okay with that. And like Worms, I’m low maintenance – no makeup, I do have a hair dryer because I get the sniffles if I walk around with wet hair, and not much by way of jewelry (a watch, and a wedding band). So, at least in this house, it’s the man whose rails are busting! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Don’t you see that empty space there, Hobbo. Nothing fills that space like a new outfit. This poem is the perfect fit, by-the-way. πŸ˜€Perhaps a bigger closet would help? Always can open up a second one or renovate. One out, one in, that’s what I say.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hobbo, you’ve outdone yourself here. Between the perfect meter, the mesmerizing off-the-rail rhymes and the s-s-subject matter, I laughed so hard now I have to go find something to change into πŸ˜†πŸ€―

    Liked by 2 people

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