Animals and Nature

Photo by Pixabay on
Mother Earth

Stripped, scorched, choked, abused
Peeled, poisoned, pillaged, plundered
Murdered by degrees.
Photo by Visually Us on
Ten Green (Plastic) Bottles

Ten world leaders, declaring nothing's wrong.
Nine politicians, stringing us along.

Eight rare species, erased from planet blue.
Seven rain forests, flattened in a coup.

Six choking billions, breathing toxic waste.
Five is the virus, which can not be erased.

Four seas of plastic,poisoning our fish.
Three million skeptics, living on a wish.

Two sole survivors, clinging to a tree.
One final chance now, got no planet B.
Photo by Lum3n on
Family Matters

My son Roy
Is two feet tall
This in a boy
Is rather small.

Daughter Pearl
Has great big ears
Which in a girl
Results in tears.

My dog Boo
Thinks he's a cat
He hides his poo
Well, fancy that.
Photo by Skitterphoto on
The Greedy Sheep

Our sheep was a bit of a glutton
It feasted on Cadbury's buttons
Eats till it pops
Now sold in the shops
As sweeties called chocolate muttons.
Photo by Pixabay on
And this time tomorrow?

We are the infantile guardians
of a four billion year old lady
and how do we respond
to that heavy burden?
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We wage war
over her body parts,
fighting for exclusive rights
to this limb, or that torso.
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We steal
her most valuable possessions
with no thought
to replace them.
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We exterminate
anything lower on the food chain
to the point of
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We pollute
her arteries and internal organs
with plastic
and industrial waste.
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We suffocate her,
filling the air
that she breathes
with noxious gases.
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

We talk
whilst she weeps
at the abuse
she has suffered.
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?

What will change tomorrow?
Tout ou rien?
demain, à cette heure-ci?

Tout ou rien: All or nothing
Et demain, à cette heure-ci?: And this time tomorrow?
Photo by Tim Gouw on

Winter's hard shell
Cracks tentatively.
Tender green shoots
Emerge inquisitively.
as china
but focused
as champions.

Embryonic warriors
Against nature.
With nature.
For nature,
And the cycle continues.
Photo by Frans Van Heerden on
A reason for everything

I shave my neck
Most every day.
But what the heck.
It's here to stay.

In height my spec
Is fairly tall.
Without a neck
I'd be quite small.

But goodness me,
If I'd no neck,
I guarantee
I'd be a wreck.
Photo by Harrison Haines on
Fashionable fish

Winnie whale and Sid sprat
Had a nice little chat
He put her hair into plaits
Hairy fish, fancy that!
Dauphy's Valentine

I'm more than just a trophy dog
I'll always be your Dauphy dog
You take me out in every weather
We've even been on swims together
You pick my crap up when I poo
Not something all the others do
You treat me kind and feed me well
You bath me when I start to smell
We walk for hours through the wood
You let me roll about in mud
You give me scraps from off the roast
And let me pee on every post
You put my coat on when it's cold
We both walk slowly now we're old
We have long talks, I don't say much
I use my eyes to keep in touch
You love it when I greet you home
Reward me with a gravy bone
You are the biscuit of my eye
I'll love you till the day I die
One last thing, I wonder whether
We should sniff some butts together!
Photo by invisiblepower on
Dauphy's snail poem

The cute little snail
Leaves snot in his trail
Wherever he goes
So please wipe his nose.
Photo by George Becker on
Knowing me, knowing you

Where I see green
Do you see blue?
When I hear false
Do you hear true?

If I taste sweet
Do you taste sour?
Where I smell rat
Do you smell flower?

When I touch base
Are you in touch?
If I feel pain
Do you feel much?

I thought not, and
That's fine, just great
I'll get a dog
A true soul mate.

Photo by Pixabay on
The ways of man

She was gorgeous, intelligent, kind
And he loved her with all of his heart
Likewise for her, though she soon changed her mind
The day when she first heard him fart.
A good night's sleep

Search my head
For inspiration
Go to bed
In sheer frustration.

Wake up yawning
Words in ear
Three in morning
Dauphy's idea.

Thanks a lot
Can't it keep
Idea's hot
Now back to sleep!
Photo by Adrianna Calvo on

Doleful eyes, bursting with intelligence
pleading walkies time. Excitement mounts.
Grab that lead. Don't forget the
meaty treats and poo bags.
Tail wagging uncontrollably now.
Lead clipped on.
Off we go, hurry up.
Pee mail station, gotta stop.
Reach the park, given freedom
run round, chasing pals, chasing tails
sniffing butts.
Tired now, tongue hanging.
Sedate stroll home.
Towelled clean.
Noisy snooze time.
Well earned tea time.

Photo by Pikx By Panther on
Warning (contains strong language)!

Metal, diamond, stone
Sinew, muscle, flints
Iron,concrete, bone
Steel and Trebor mints.

Trebor mints' catchphrase is
'Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger'
to which a common retort is
'Stick 'em up your bum and they last a bit longer'.
Photo by Brett Sayles on
Under the weather

In the main
Is a pain.

When it's done
Then the sun
Heralds fun.
Photo by Toni Cuenca on
The apple of his eye

Adam, says Eve
Do you fancy an apple
And then if you're lucky
Maybe a grapple.

An apple, says Adam
Scratching his chin
What will God say
Won't we commit sin?

Eve shows her wares
To the shy Romeo
Cortland, Pink Lady
Jazz, Cameo.

Gala and Braeburn
Fuji, Jonagold
Cosmic and Empire
Envy, Gingergold.

Golden Delicious
Granny Smith
Red Delicious
Honey Crisp.

Newton Pippin
Cox's Pippin
Ruby Frost.

Tempting lady
And a looker
Adam wisely
Chose a cooker.
Photo by Magda Ehlers on
Right Move

The tortoise and the snail swapped lids
Hardly so surprising
Snail needed more room for the kids
And tortoise was downsizing.
Photo by Burst on
Adam and Eve

I am
I am a man

I am
I am a woman
Whoa man!
Photo by Pixabay on
Another day

storm clouds gathering
nature's harbingers of doom
birds holding their breath.
sun, escapes it's horizon
we smile, live another day.

Dauphy: I’ve been thinking!

Hobbo: Hmm….

Dauphy: This philophosy malarkey, I could quite get into that!

Hobbo: Philosophy, I think you mean philosophy!

Dauphy: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I’ve been doing a bit of philophowhatever myself and

Hobbo: And you’ve thought up a poem?

Dauphy: How did you know that?

Hobbo: Dauphy, how long have we been pals? Give it here, and I’ll type it up…..

Dauphy's Philosophy
(part one, Hobbo suspects)

To train a dog to
sit, you need a dog to train.
To teach a man to 
fish, you need a man, a fish
and a flipping good chippy.
Photo by Mustafa ezz on

Meerkats, queer cats
Kit-Kats and kitty cats
Top Cats, tom cats
Caterpillar, Cheshire cats.

Cat's paw, cat's claw
Cat's cradle, caterwaul
Cat O'Nine- Tails
Cats with nine lives.

Fighting like a
Cat and dog
Who let that cat
out the bag?

My dogs name
He'll kill those cats
And take the blame.

Photo by David Frazer on
What's in a name?

Manta Ray
meets Bob the Cat.
Bob is jealous.
Ray, "Why's that?"

Bobcat says
"My name is fine
But no one says
I'm a Bob of sunshine."
Photo by Dominika Roseclay on
A Canine Bargain

A bargain, for less than a dollar
On eBay she purchased a collar
With a homing device
Which her dog thought was nice
Wherever she went it would 'foller'.
Photo by Poranimm Athithawatthee on

A new insect is here
They're the hairy ants.
Trained to obliterate 

They pull on their boots
like ordinary ants
and Covid 19 gets
a kick up the pants.
Photo by Frans Van Heerden on
Pick up a penguin

Penguins are not pets
she scolded
Take them
to the zoo!
Oh, that was yesterday
I said.
Today it's the pictures
Frozen Two.
Muet comme une carp

Me! muet comme une carp
Quipped Dauphy, quietish
Don't like fish, bones too sharp
But mice are quite a different dish.

Muet comme une carp: a French expression meaning as silent as a carp, or fish
In the UK we would say as quiet as a mouse.
Photo by Castorly Stock on
Are you free?

Fly free.
Free as a bird.
Following instinct.
Faithfully following forefathers.
or frozen?
Migratory routes
chiselled in time.
or roots?
or chosen?
or frozen?
Fly free.
Feel free.
Be free.
Don't be a bird.
Poetry Masterclass (by Dauphy)

I don't give a Nelly 
for a villanelle
or a bonnet
for a fourteen line sonnet.
I'd rather watch bonanza
than struggle with a stanza.
A soliloquy
seems silly to me.
My nemesis
could be mimesis.
If I have a cold
then I might say ode.
I'd never take a stance
on dissonance or assonance.
When I do meet up with Koo
I'll say howdy, not haiku.
I wouldn't give a meg
about a mixed up meter.
You can't lick a lyric
for good alliteration
and a well penned limerick
can bring joy to a nation.
So, epic or ballad
stick your syllabic rules.
Me and  my mate Hobbo
are merely comic fools.

My Bezzie (by Dauphy)

beautiful girl.
My best pal.
We chased squirrels
We chased cats
We chased each other.
did you have to
tear your pad?
wouldn't it heal?
did you leave me?
I miss you
so much!
Hobbo does too
but not
in the same fun loving
stick carrying
butt sniffing
unconditional way
that only a dog
will ever
Goodbye Bella
save me a place 
in doggy heaven.
Photo by Josh Hild on
Awkward dog

A dog went for a walk on her lead
She detested being led
A characteristic of her breed
Or simply the way she'd been bred?
Photo by Samson Katt on
Naughty puppy

She called the dog explorer
Which, it took onboard with gratitude
But changed it to Fedora
Because of the attitude.
Photo by Genaro Servu00edn on
Funny old weather

The electric blanket
of snow
turned quickly to rain,
a shower full
of cats and dogs
shot down by
bolts of lightening
if you find that frightening
listen to this
In France, il pleut
comme vache qui pisse.

Il pleut comme vache qui pisse
Pronounced: eel plur com vash key piss
French for, It's raining like a pissing cow.
Photo by Markus Spiske on
Photo by Serge Baeyens on
The Mighty Oak

by the squirrel
the acorn
slowly awoke
pushing tentative roots
delicate as gossamer
into the soft brown earth.
feeling their way
inside a pair of fluffy slippers
sending one tender shoot
towards the warmth of the sun
instinctively, timidly
not yet knowing
her destiny.
She swayed slightly
in the early Spring breeze
looking up in astonishment
at the mighty oak
towering above her
like a proud parent
and then...
she twigged.
Photo by Ingo Joseph on
Bully for him!

The prize bull, who worshipped his missus
Guessed they were in for the chop
So at Christmas, instead of just kisses
He took her to China, to shop.
Photo by Pixabay on
Photo by Alexandra Novitskaya on
The learner

Penelope the porky pig
For tasty truffles learned to dig
The owner saw a little earner
Though Penny dear was but a learner.

Each one she found, she swiftly ate
She ate the lot, and put on weight
So, change of heart he sold her in yon
restaurant, as filet mignon.

Dauphy: I’ve written a poem.

Hobbo: That’s good Dauphy, can I have a look?

Dauphy: Sure. (Gives it to Hobbo, who reads it).

Hobbo: This is pretty good. Shall we put it on the blog?

Dauphy: Yes please, but you’ll have to type it.

Hobbo: Why?

Dauphy: Don’t be silly. Everyone knows that dogs can’t type…

Be more dog

I don't ever fret about you
And there's no way I'd pick up your poo
If I'm tired, then I drift off to sleep
I have no need to work for my keep.

You feed me my meals twice a day
When it's sunny, we go out to play
I know you think this part's a pain
But, I love our long walks in the rain.

I get muddy and dirty as hell
And I don't really care if I smell
I love you with all my dog heart
When you fuss other dogs, do I start?

I'm the spit of a dog who just chills
Bit like you, when you've taken your pills
So relax man, this world ain't so crappy
Be less man, be more dog, and be happy.

Hobbo: Thanks Dauphy!

Dauphy: You’re welcome. Will you teach me to type sometime?

Photo by Gene Taylor on
Catching your haggis

A timorous beast is the haggis
Scottish and hairless and round
Living outside of our cities
Underneath rocks they are found.

To catch one, you lure them with toasties
I find cheese and pickle the best
Or a nice Sunday lunch, done with roasties
That smell will tempt most from their nest.

Alternatively, if you are able
Sneak up and catch one, while it sleeps
Once cooked, should be piped to the table
And served up with tatties and neeps.

Haggis: A Scottish dish, traditionally served with potatoes (tatties) and turnips (neeps). Ceremoniously carried to the table on Burn's Night accompanied by bagpipes.
Photo by Ali Mu00fcftu00fcou011fullaru0131 on
The Spider

He clomped into the shop
Browsing for some shoes
He needed quite a crop
So there wasn't much to choose.

Salesgirl tried to rob him blind
For his four pairs of feet
Instead of being helpful kind
Spun web of pure deceit.

He didn't make a purchase though
And didn't care two hoots
Saying,"Though you judge me rather slow
You're too big for those boots."
Photo by Flickr on
Love is in the air

The author who wrote Peter Rabbit
Was upset by his blossoming habit
She knew of his needs
Because that's how he breeds
But he never stopped rutting* dangnabbit.

*rutting, or any suitable synonym!
Photo by Hrishikesh Deshkar on
The Donkey

Dauphy tried to sing a verse
About a little donkey
Each effort came out worse
It must have been the wrong key.

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on

Dozens of them
atop the slimmest of branches
staring down
like silent sentinels.
A sharp noise
and they're gone
ephemeral as a thought
in the midday sun.
Photo by Pixabay on
Natural Nonsense

A curtain of hail
Had awoken the snail
Who jumped out of his shell
To find all was not well
With his friend basking shark
Who'd been up with the lark
At the sound of the bark
Of the dog who can't sleep
Despite counting sheep
Jumping over a gate
Unaware that their fate
Is to end on a plate
Swimming in gravy
With a seal from the navy
Battling the tide
And nowhere to hide
From the wife and his bride
Both of them male
Who'd got out of jail
In a curtain of hail...
Photo by Khoa Vu00f5 on

My name is Bob
I'm a ...
My name is Bob
I'm a...
My name is Bob
I'm a...

Poem written by Bob, the goldfish
Goldfish allegedly have an attention span 
of less than five seconds.
Photo by Pixabay on

On safari, he takes careful aim
At the tiger, to kill, not to maim
The tiger's the winner
It eats him for dinner
Serves him right for claiming he's game.
Photo by Pixabay on
Mary's Lamb
Mary had another lamb
The doctor got a shock
The lamb was born with pointy ears
It looked like Mister Spock
Photo by Alexander Zvir on
Three fish found dead
Copper notes in his diary
Scratches his head
Orders full scale enquiry.
Photo by Martin Dickson on
The Duck
A duck who forgot how to quack
Found his diary was suddenly slack
In search of a date
He stood on a crate
And with practice, he soon got the knack.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on
he stroked the smooth cheeks
biting gently on the flesh
of the nectarine.
Photo by Pixabay on
Nijer for the goldfinch
Peanuts for the tits
Fat-balls for the starlings
I love 'em all to bits.

Coconuts are popular
They make an all round feed
Robins are the fussy ones
They prefer mixed seed.

I look out of my window
And watch them eat their food
The wild birds in the garden
Never fail to lift my mood.

Nijer, a seed food particularly popular with goldfinches

Photo by Dominika Roseclay on
The Puppy
She took her puppy for a stroll
Among the sycamores
At every tree, at every hole
It stopped, she named it Paws.
Photo by Steve on
Our Pet
lone, wild
hunting, preying, killing
woodsman, trapper,breeder, trainer
captures, selects, domesticates
faithful, loyal
Photo by Waldemar Brandt on
Of course you're a tiger my lad
Why on earth would you think you are not
The question you pose makes me sad
I think it's a lovely name, Spot.
Photo by Kat Jayne on
Mary had her little lamb
Carved up in tiny slices
Her vegan fad was just a sham
She had carnivorous vices.
Photo by Kimona on
Bananas are beauty
Squishy-squashy, fruity
Though I would recommend
You get ones with a bend
If you find they're too straight
You've bought cucumbers mate.
Photo by Leroy Huckett on
I'm not a thug
But when I saw a slug
Curled up on my rug
Chewing a bug
And looking real smug
Well, I am no mug
So, I gave it a drug
Picked it up with a tug
Dropped the thing from a jug
Down a hole I had dug
And said with a shrug
"You're not getting a hug"
So tough, bah humbug!
Photo by VisionPic .net on
Slim little body, slippery and shiny
Her face looking ever so cute
She plays in her tank, and I've named her Tiny
Because this critter you see is my newt.
Photo by Pixabay on
For breakfast darling's we've
A pile of eucalyptus leaves
And luncheon too, I do believe
We're having eucalyptus leaves
i think we'll have the same for dinner
Eucalyptus, it's a winner.

Whilst koala bears have got to be some of the cutest animals on the planet, all they eat is eucalyptus. They do not even drink, getting their moisture from the leaves!
Photo by Roger Brown on
This smelly, dirty mud
In which I have been stood
I hate it, it's no good.

You really are a wuss
We don't expect such fuss
From hippopotamus.

Photo by Pixabay on
The sparrow cooked her son
Tomato soup for dinner
Although a fussy eater
She knew this was a winner.

Robin though was messy
Although he did his best
he spilled most down his front
And stained his little chest.

The true story of the origin of the Robin Redbreast
Photo by Tim Mossholder on
Golden browns
Subtle reds
Autumn winds
Nature sheds.

Piles of leaves
Lie in heaps
Naked trees
Squirrel sleeps.

Newborn buds
Peeping through
Promise Spring
Start anew.
Photo by Pia on
Amazing Facts
It's true, if you tickle a rat
It laughs, well how about that?
And a butterfly tastes with it's feet
Come on, admit it, that's neat.

Another fact, prick up your ears
Snails sleep for up to three years
But this one is way off the charts
Octopuses, they have three hearts!
Photo by Skitterphoto on
Mary had a little lamb
Whose father was a randy ram
It came about cos all the sheep
Pretended they were fast asleep.
Photo by Flickr on
delicate, colourful
perching, singing, flying
beak, talons, killer, raptor
hunting, targeting, swooping
swift, merciless
Photo by Pixabay on
The commonest bird in Great Britain
Not sea bird, not game bird, not fowl
This bird's to be found in your kitchen
It's every day name, the Teat Owl.
Photo by Brett Sayles on
The Old Duke of York
The old Duke of York
Purchased a hawk
Although it could squawk
It just would not talk.

it was swapped for an auk
Born and raised in New York
But the bird was a mawk
And could not even walk.

With a sharp tomahawk
And a burned piece of cork
It had a mohawk
So the neighbours did gawk.

So, he then chose a stork
With a preference for pork
Which it ate with a fork
That old Duke of York.

What a dork!
Photo by Pixabay on
In the natural world, the male
Is often full of colour
Whilst the female can be dull
Her backside, a little fuller.

In the human world, a male
May sport a big fat belly
From drinking too much beer
And watching too much telly.
Photo by Poodles 2Doodles on
It was love at first sight
But not with a feller
She squealed with delight
When she caught sight of Bella.

Puppy dog eyes
And waggly tail
Appeal maximised
These things never fail.
Photo by Pixabay on
Mary had a little lamb
She called it Wooly Willy
If she'd named it Aloysius
 That would have been plain silly.
Photo by Miriam Espacio on
Imagine, if you can
Travelling at the speed of light
two hundred thousand mile per second
Per second, yes that's right.

Flying along at that speed
You could really superman it
In just one tiny second
You'd whizz eight times round our planet.

Planets in our solar system
Circle round our sun
Middle aged, our sun's a star
But a very average one.

Ten minutes it would take you
To reach the sun, our star
Zooming on at light speed
That's not so very far.

But then our nearest neighbour
Called Alpha Centauri
Would take another four years
Of whizzing through the sky.

The stars in our own galaxy
Lie in the milky way
Three hundred billion of them
(That's roughly, by the way.)

A hundred thousand light years
To cross the milky way
Then Andromeda, the next one
Two more billion years away.

There are a billion galaxies
Each with a billion stars
And we think we're great explorers
Because we've got to planet mars.

It makes me realise then
How small our humankind
The more I know about space
The more it blows my mind.

Photo by Valiphotos on
If leaves fell up
Instead of down
When they turn yellow
Then go brown
The sky would soon
Be overcrowded
And leave our sun
Forever shrouded
Gravity though
Serves to attract
So things fall down
And that's a fact
Photo by Kaboompics .com on
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Why do geraniums
Smell like cat poo?
Photo by Mike on
On a day that was sunny
Barney, the bunny
Spent all of his money
On a large jar of honey
Which sent him all funny
And made his nose runny
With an ache in his tummy
So much so, that his mummy
Said, "I'm so sorry, sonny.
...I think you've caught covid."
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on
The worm
Sam ate a worm
Which made him squirm
But caught no germ
I can confirm
So, just short term.

...He won't do it again though.
Photo by Indigo Blackwood on
The hedgehog
The slugs and the snails
On my cabbages munch
But my baby hedgehog
Will have them for lunch.
Photo by Secret Garden on
The rose
I stooped to smell
The pale pink rose
A big black fly
Flew up my nose|
Photo by Pixabay on
What do bees eat for their tea?
Cheese on toast like you and me
And what's really rather funny
Is how they turn it into honey.
Photo by Pixabay on
The fox
Stealthily creeping
Sleek and sly
Brush tail sweeping
The fox glides by.
Photo by mentatdgt on
The Zoo
"Zookeeper," he said
"I fear this won't do
"You've only one dog
And that's a shih tzu.

"That cannot be true
You're comments are crass
You see, we've got you
..A pain in the ass.

A sonnet to Dauphin
Dauphin, my black dog
An animal who's very wise
Twelve years old, the saddest eyes
Unspoken canine dialogue.
In puppy-hood, we'd often jog
With mate, long dead, 'neath sunny skies
Or river swim, three great allies
Then rest beside the old marsh bog.
They say that wisdom comes with age
We mellow as we yet grow old
And folly is a thing of youth.
What can he teach, this canine sage?
I dread the thought of him grown cold
Am I too late to learn his truth?
Photo by Andre Mouton on
The Trip
"You've been a really good boy
So here is what we'll do
You can have a brand new toy
Or, I'll take you to the zoo.

Johnny paused his keypad
Used to being admonished
This offer from his dad
Had left him quite astonished.

To Chester Zoo they travelled
Dad talked of birds and bees
Which left young Johnny baffled
"Can you explain it daddy please?"

"Watch the animals son
And the little things they do
When they are having fun
We humans do that too."

The young boy watched with care
He was always wide awake
The monkeys and a bear
A crocodile, a snake.

Creatures that were hairy
Some which made him laugh
The tigers, they were scary
And he loved the tall giraffe.

When the day was almost finished
Johnny knew what grown ups do
"Don't look much fun to me dad
Do I have to eat my poo?"
Photo by Pixabay on
"Chicken tikka sir?"
The waiter checked his jotter
"No, make mine a tarka.
I like a little 'otter."
Photo by Saeid Anvar on
I think it's a goose
But it could be a duck
I'll get out my bird book
And have a quick look.
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