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Mary

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Mary
Mary had a little lamb
Whose father was a randy ram
It came about cos all the sheep
Pretended they were fast asleep.
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Survival

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Survival
bird
delicate, colourful
perching, singing, flying
beak, talons, killer, raptor
hunting, targeting, swooping
swift, merciless
lunch
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First encounter

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First encounter
I spied her in the cafe
Dipping brioche, chocolate chipped
She said she was Parisian
"Why, that's capital," I quipped.
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Diagnosis

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Diagnosis
Water on the brain
So the doctor said
"Don't worry," she explained
"A quick tap on the head."
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Black Dog

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The Black Dog
You are the sunshine of my life
You are, you really are
Why does it keep raining then
My little superstar?
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Mutual Attraction

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Mutual Attraction
A dashing young palaeontologist
Fell in love with a skilled campanologist
His bones cast their spell
And she rang his bell
Cue, visit to top gynaecologist.
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The Election

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The election
The language is incomprehensible
His rhetoric largely dispensable
Some of his views indefensible
Why can't this man say something sensible?
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Downfall

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Downfall
bet
small, fun
win. hooked, lose
house, vehicle, wife, family
humiliated, shamed, deserted
penniless, homeless
addict
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Foreign Languages

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Foreign Languages
Lancashire expression
big do's and little do's
they do talk rubbish
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Old Friends

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Old Friends
There are holes in my sock
And a hole in my shoe
They have been round the block
And my toes all peek through.

I could buy some more
But I've got quite attached
They were worn to the funeral
When my wife was dispatched.

Only joking darling...