Homo sapiens

Homo sapiens Claiming our Gods, yet acting like God, we treat our whole world with contempt. Gifted with brains to break free our chains, one would think we would try to attempt to cherish our planet, much sooner than it fall prey to our greedy endeavour. Respecting the worth of unique Mother Earth is survival; it’s not even clever.

House Hunting

House Hunting The advert says a lovely view. Could you please show me where? I gladly will, young man if you Could kindly grab that chair. That’s it, climb up, no not the seat, The back sir, if you will, Then carefully please place your feet One there, one on the sill. Now close one eye, no, just the one And squint a bit,…


cold your world goes to pot and it makes you feel old when your head’s full of snot and you’re lost in a cold

Lonely hearts ad

Lonely hearts ad Old man – slightly obsessive Seeks other half – spotlessly clean Age or good looks not a factor But ideally responds to ‘Hi, Jean.’

A quiet meal

A quiet meal It began when my starter, the fish left a bone in my throat but no wish and as we moved on to the main I was in some considerable pain. Having trouble with something called breathing which set my poor girlfriend to screaming, ‘Please, is there a doc in the place he’s turning quite blue in the face.’ Then a lavatory…

Hunger Pangs

Hunger Pangs Lizzie Dripping, skinny-dipping In the great north sea, Met a shark, who spied a snack Of ten-fish-fingered tea.

Frog in the throat

Frog in the throat When the frog lost his ribbit It was quick to inhibit His world-renowned talent for courting. A medicinal soak Soon sorted his croak And now all his tadpoles are snorting.

The stud

The Stud When he met his creator, Thinking ‘reincarnator’ Pete asked to come back as a stud. He felt somewhat let down Strolling back into town As a football boot covered in mud.


Older A little bit wiser a little bit bolder a little bit greyer a little bit older. Slightly less hair slightly less huff slightly more patience slightly more puff. A touch less panic a touch less worry a touch more thoughtful a touch less hurry. Another pill a bit more weight a bit more skill a lot less hate.

The fussy seagull

The fussy seagull Mrs Gull’s daughter Refused to drink water Complaining the ocean was salty. So, selling her jewellery They moved to a brewery For drinks that were varied, but malty.