A foolish choice

A foolish choice Little, black mole Grew bored of her hole Full of worms, sought the sunnier side. Then an owl saw her there, Enjoying the air. Swooped down and scooped up her wee hide.

Rivers of love

Rivers of love Loving is easy Along the Zambezi But it’s slower and sexy On the banks of the Yangtze.

The bashful painter

The bashful painter A shy artist who’d Met a New Delhi nude, Had never seen bare flesh before. She stripped to the waist But her fee was a waste; He kept both his eyes on the floor.

Revenge in A minor

Revenge in A minor Mummy is it my fault that your boyfriend killed himself? Of course not my darling, why would you even think that? Because I told him if he came near me again with his thing, I’d cut it off and feed it to the cats.

Man on a bus

Man on a bus A pear-shaped man in his pear-shaped clothes, stuck his pear-shaped thumb up his pear-shaped nose. Put two pair-shaped bogeys stuck to pear-shaped hair in his pear-shaped mouth where he ate the pair.

Mr Lear

Mr Lear You may think Lear A little queer, This man with fantastical creatures. It isn’t his beasts, No, not in the least, It’s the sight of his upside-down features.

Politics for dummies

Politics for dummies The government is governed by its governmental ministers, who have a boss, the governor, they like to call prime Minister. The business of the government is really to administer but if it’s not what governor meant, it all gets rather sinister. The government then governs or, that’s what they’re meant to do and governor governs government, an ineffectual stew.

Arable Romance

Arable Romance A farmer who’s looking for love Is keen, a young girl to enrapture To share all his acres of land And add to his coupling a tractor. His ad in the lonely hearts says, Landed gent, seeks a girl with X-factor, Please enclose photo of you, Or, better still, one of your tractor.

Equal Ops?

Equal Ops? Equal selection procedures Are often not quite what they seem; When the game absolutely needs winning, Sometimes we must pick our own team.

One in three

One in three I was meant to be tall dark and handsome, Realistically, that isn’t me, I’m more of a tall, grey and worrisome But I’ll settle for one out of three.