Limericks

Farmer Sue
Farmer Sue Tickle, a giant
On taxes, would not be compliant
They took her to court
And left her with nought
But a battered old Robin Reliant.

The Greenkeeper
Greenkeeper, E.Moses Grass
Got wed to a proud Yorkshire lass
Extremely God fearing
To help with his shearing
They road on his mower into mass.

Mac
An amateur baker called Mac
Had a recipe he couldn't crack
He'd salt and he'd sweeten
Add almond and pecan
Then voila, the perfect flapjack.

Tony
A retired old bizzie named Tony
Claimed an allergy to matrimony
Till a woman called Fi
Sent him week at the knee
And proved it a load of baloney.

Eddy
A teacher from Burnley named Eddy
Had a job which was all go-aheady
He claimed not to drink
But the kids knew his chink
And nicknamed him unsteady Eddy.

Jurgen Klopp
Jurgen Norbert Klopp
Won the hearts and the minds of the cop
The football was thrilling
His focus was chilling
It's been thirty years, but they're top.

Dot
I married a woman called Dot
And when I asked,"Why?" she said,"What?"
I think it's her hearing
Which would be endearing
But she says that I am a clot.

The washing machine
Jack owned an old washing machine
For keeping his clothes nice and clean
Then when it broke
He sent for a bloke
And now they are both a 'has been.'