Limericks

Farmer Sue
Farmer Sue Tickle, a giant
On taxes, would not be compliant
They took her to court
And left her with nought
But a battered old Robin Reliant.

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The Greenkeeper
Greenkeeper, E.Moses Grass
Got wed to a proud Yorkshire lass
Extremely God fearing
To help with his shearing
They road on his mower into mass.


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Mac
An amateur baker called Mac
Had a recipe he couldn't crack
He'd salt and he'd sweeten
Add almond and pecan
Then voila, the perfect flapjack.
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Tony
A retired old bizzie named Tony
Claimed an allergy to matrimony
Till a woman called Fi
Sent him week at the knee
And proved it a load of baloney.
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Eddy
A teacher from Burnley named Eddy
Had a job which was all go-aheady
He claimed not to drink
But the kids knew his chink
And nicknamed him unsteady Eddy.
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Jurgen Klopp
Jurgen Norbert Klopp
Won the hearts and the minds of the cop
The football was thrilling
His focus was chilling
It's been thirty years, but they're top.
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Dot
I married a woman called Dot
And when I asked,"Why?" she said,"What?"
I think it's her hearing
Which would be endearing
But she says that I am a clot.
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The washing machine
Jack owned an old washing machine
For keeping his clothes nice and clean
Then when it broke
He sent for a bloke
And now they are both a 'has been.'
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