Cheeky

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Cheeky

He, rather unwise,
His eyes on the prize.
No thought of disguise,
Stared long, at her thighs.

She, to his surprise,
Having quickly apprised,
Said,"Try these for size,"
And gave him black eyes.

Sounds like?

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Sounds like?

Can I make it clear
That onomatopoeia
Is a sound word
For word sounds.
Like water down a plug,
Glug. Glug. Glug, glug, glug.

Noises when I speak,
Groan, grunt, growl, eek,
Mumble, murmur, squeal, squeak.

And right before that prang,
Crash, crunch, clatter, clang,
Smash, screech, slap, bang.

Pets I keep, cock-a-doodle-doo,
Chirp, cheep, cluck, cuckoo,
Honk, howl, tweet, twit-twoo.

But you! You make my heart go fwoosh,
Whiz, whip, waft, whoosh,
Fsst, flutter, swish, swoosh.

So, let's hear it, my dear,
A great dollop of cheer
For onomatopoeia!

The Shower

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The Shower

Power spent
The cloud burst,
Flowers bent
To quench their thirst.

Why?

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Why?

From girl
With her head full of dreams,
To woman,
Her head full of screams.
From pushchair
To wheelchair
In the blink of an eye.
At the dusk of discovery
And still I ask
Why?

The Speculator

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The Speculator

Shares in stock
She did obtain
And now she's on
The gravy train!

The General’s Wife

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The General's Missus

A General's wife, fourteen carat,
At mess had a tad too much claret,
She was caught on the stairs
With Private Affairs
And now, she's confined to the garret.

Dauphy: People will think that the photo is our house, Hobbo!
Hobbo: Don't worry Dauphy, there's no danger of that. I promise...

La vie est belle

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La vie est belle

There's nothing much to do up here,
I can't get the hang of this harp.
Saint Peter said to learn by ear,
So is this E flat or F sharp?
La vie est belle, they said,
It sure beats being dead.

I'm looking down on all my friends,
And the small stuff causing worry.
It's not too late to make amends,
Life's way too short to hurry.
La vie est belle, they said,
It sure beats being dead.

And who let all these people in,
My long lost friends and relatives?
It's nice to see loved ones again,
But some of these are negatives!
La vie est belle, they said,
It sure beats being dead.

Enjoy your life and make the most,
It ain't all work, it should be fun.
You're far too long a flipping ghost,
And once it's done my friend, it's done.
La vie est belle, they said,
It sure beats being dead.

I.T.Genius

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I.T.Genius

My mobile is broke,
I got in a flap,
But spoke to some bloke,
All I need is a nap.

Sadly True

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Sadly True

Caught in flagrante,
Without any pants, he
Claimed that his dog had attacked.
Though the back of his suite,
With clothes folded and neat,
Proved that this was a lie, not a fact.

Mother Warton and Dauphy

Mother Warton and Dauphy

Dauphy, don't be so dozy,
Nothing beats a good nosy.
Stand here, pretend you are chewing
And find out what people are doing.

Intelligence, key to it all,
Info, no matter how small.
Whatever news happens are way
Will help us to gossip all day.
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