A synopsis

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A synopsis

Putin, the arrogant prick,
Thought his war with Ukraine would be quick
Yet despite the ferocity
Of Russia's atrocities
Their global position looks sick.

Shopping

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Shopping

Completing my truck stop
I called in the farm shop
And wandered in, just for a browse.
They had no farms I wanted
So feeling undaunted,
I settled for two fatted cows.

Pink Ladies

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Pink Ladies

An apple a day
keeps the doctor away,
puts pippins in your cox
and turns ladies pink,
or so they say.

Pronunciation denunciation

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Pronunciation denunciation

You'll become a pariah
if you call it Yorkshire
and people will sneer
if you dare say Yorkshire
but the girl from Minorca
pronouncing it Yorkshire,
I will cover in kisses
and take for my Mrs.

Murderous fall

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A murderous fall

Invited to see his top story
by her book-writing, high-living son
she knew her demise would be gory
at the hands of her son with a pun.

Old Soul Mates

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Old Soul Mates

after our
sexual shenanigans
the laughter
the loving
the fun
we can be
quiet together
for you
my dear friend
are the one

Sunday morning

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Sunday Morning

Birds belt out their standards
from a neighbouring tree
as we cradle cuddles
and a stay-in-bed tea.

A heady aroma
sharing post-nooky yawning,
life's simple treasures
on a sundayspringmorning.

Sweetheart

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Sweetheart

You were the cherry on my icing,
my sweet and sticky bun
until I was deserted
and now my love, that scone!

An unusual complaint

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An unusual complaint

Complaining of very strong magnetism
The doctor assumed he meant rheumatism
But stuck like a fool
To the seat of her stool
Concluded that this was no solecism.

Solecism: A grammatical mistake in speech or writing

Chalk v Cheese

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Chalk v Cheese

One lone woman,
courageous,
an inspiration,
is dying;
fighting cancer
of the bowel,
raising awareness
and millions.

A few miles away
two footballer's wives,
former friends,
are slugging it out
in a court battle.
Trading insults
and spending millions.
FFS!
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