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Bliss

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Bliss

the fleeting moment
holding on to your dreams
before life revives you.
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The Operation

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The Operation

The sight in the mirror had stunned her
The medics had made a real blunder
Her pert little nose
Looked like a red rose
And the surgeon refused to refund her.
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Sisters

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Sisters

One girl's hair is wavy
Which fashion don't permit
Hair straighteners, the answer
They cost her quite a bit.

The sister's though is ramrod straight
But she wants wavy hair
So she wraps it all in rollers
tell me, where's the logic there?
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Happiness

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Happiness

Happiness
a state of mind
depending
on nothing
but
a state of mind.
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Tiers

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Tiers
(To Tears, a song by the late, great Ken Dodd)

Tiers for covid fears are what you gave me
Memories of a promise never kept
You led me to believe lockdown's the answer
After all these lonely hours I've wept (with no one).

Tiers are my reward for isolation
But tiers can't mend my mental health, I must confess
Let's forgive our peers uptown
Turn our tiers of lockdown
Once more to tears of happiness.

Tiers are my reward for isolation
But tiers can't mend my mental health, I must confess
Let's forgive our peers uptown
Turn our tiers of lockdown
Once more to tears of happiness.

Let's forgive our peers uptown
Turn our tiers of lockdown
Once more to tears of happiness.
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The Greenhouse

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The Greenhouse

A woman of strange misdemeanour
Had a greenhouse which could've been greener
So now and again
She rang her friend Len
And had the glass shined by Len's cleaner.

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Pam Ayres

A true poetic genius. If you have never heard any of her stuff, this is well worth a listen.

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RIP Jennifer

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RIP Jennifer

Here lies the body
Of Jennifer Dyer
Nylon nightie
Met open fire.

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The Viking

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The Viking

Hagar the horrible Viking
Had a helmet not quite to his liking
The horns were too small
To protect in a brawl
So, with chin strap he used it for biking.

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Mrs Hobbo

Hobbo: I’m in the bad books today Dauphy.

Dauphy: Who with?

Hobbo: She who is never wrong.

Dauphy: Mrs Hobbo, what have you done this time?

Hobbo: I didn’t do anything.

Dauphy: Something you said again?

Hobbo: No I didn’t say anything.

Dauphy: So, it can’t be the way that you said it this time?

Hobbo: No, it’s what I was thinking.

Dauphy: Thinking!

Hobbo: That’s what she said.

Dauphy: Dangerous territory, thought police.

Hobbo: I know, and the scary thing is, she was right.

Dauphy: Blimey.

Hobbo: I wish I was a dog sometimes.

Dauphy: Don’t let Mrs Hobbo catch you thinking that, or you will be in trouble.

Hobbo: She already has!