filthypigeon.com

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filthypigeon.com 

A gleaming red Ferrari, 
His very favourite car he 
Paused, till it slowed down and stopped, 
Then swooped, and he pooped and he plopped.

Implants

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Implants

Try implants, a brand-new you.
Temptation talked, I paid for two.
Although the dentist did her best,
I'm still unhappy with my chest.

Fear

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Fear

Spiders, snakes, irrational fear,
Can hold us back, and be severe.
Fear of public speaking, talking
To a crowd, or fear of walking
Open spaces, confined spaces.
Fear of people, fear of faces.
Fear of losing someone dear,
Scared of what our loved ones hear.

Scared to venture, scared to try,
Scared of water, scared to fly.
Deep, dark places, dizzy heights,
Anything can give us frights.
Ridicule, fear of rejection,
Anything, upon reflection.
Fear is human, that's no lie,
Can cripple us, can make us cry.
We need to conquer it, aim high,
Pocket fear, reach for the sky.

Young Love

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Young Love

Come play my love, in field of dreams.
Let's quench our thirst, by mountain streams,
And feast upon the fruits above,
With guidance from the stars above.
Let passion flower hereabout
Then home, before your dad finds out.


Getting on a bit

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Getting on a bit

What I'd like to know,
Now that I'm getting on,
Where my get up and go
Has got up and gone.

Before, I could flirt
Though now when I smile
At aught in a skirt
They assume I'm senile.

The Betrayal

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The Betrayal

You, are my diamond, my jewel,
So how can you treat me so cruel?
You're my very best friend, you're my wife
And I've loved you for most of my life.
You're my treasure, the girl I adore,
There is no one in life I love more,
But it hurts, don't you know, can't you see,
When you ask me to make my own tea.

The Invitation

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The Invitation

Sit down here
And rest a while.
Buy me beer,
And make me smile.

Black Dogs

Dauphy: I’m a bit upset this morning.

Hobbo: Why, what’s up?

Dauphy: That Winston Churchill bloke who you like so much.

Hobbo: What about him?

Dauphy: He used to get depressed.

Hobbo: So he did, yes.

Dauphy: Well, I’ve found out that he called his depression ‘The Black Dog’. That’s not very nice is it?

Hobbo: He didn’t mean anything by it. He loved dogs. It was just a metaphor?

Dauphy: He met a what?

Hobbo: It was his way of externalising it. Making it less scary.

Dauphy: Do you do the same when you get depressed.

Hobbo: I do, yes, but you are the black dog who lifts my mood and gets me out of that depression. Listen at this poem.

Black Dogs

This black dog inside my head,
Makes me sad, depressed.
My black dog, who's just been fed,
Is my best pal. I'm blessed

Dauphy: Aw, that’s nice.

Hobbo: Feeling better now?…

Divorce Settlement

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Divorce Settlement

She got the house, the car, the frills,
Jewels, clocks, the Louis d'or.
He got to keep his precious drills,
For all is fair in love and law.

The Inland Revenue letter

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The Inland Revenue letter

 Dear Mr Hobbo, 
Here is your pension,
 on receipt of which 
it is timely to mention, 
the rules that forbid you
 a normal sex life, 
when according to info 
received from your wife, 
you are still fairly active, 
which as you can see, 
is clearly forbidden 
in para. three C. 

Now you've retired 
please accept at your age
 that there is no employment, 
even minimum wage. 
So put up your feet, 
and turn on the TV, 
savour your cocoa, 
between you and me, 
I am jealous to bits, 
and holding back tears,
 because I've still to work 
for the next forty years.
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