King Cnut

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King Cnut

Old King Cnut
was a well handsome brute,
his dyslexia seemed such a shame.
His royal entourage
lost their decolletage,
whenever the man signed his name.

Collecting

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Collecting

She collected lovers
in a similar way that others
gathered ornamental cats,
Lalique glassware, table mats,
snuff boxes, candelabra,
oil paintings of french harbours,
thimbles, needles, pins,
old tools for making things.

Long-dead silver watches,
samplers and swatches,
diamonds, set in rings,
in fact, any little thing.
No requirement to walk
or even merely talk,
prepared for undercover,
then you could be her lover.

Singing bug

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Singing bug

A fat creepy-crawly,
with a voice that was surely
the world's most beguiling descant,
when her nephew poured praise
with unfitting phrase,
said,"Your uncle's extant, I'm your aunt."

Aspirational

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Aspirational

He desired a tattoo
on his 'how do you do'
and was charged by the inch,
so did not feel the pinch.
Requesting Llandudno,
he settled for Ludo.

Production Line

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Production Line

Her favourite chicken
for many a year,
Produces an egg
whene'er she appears.
This chicken has eggs
coming out of her ears.

Faith

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Faith

Born
of a need
to understand
our origins.

The product
of vivid imaginations
and stirring storytelling.

Hijacked by kings,
and popes,
poets
and fanatics.

Sculpted
over history and time
into
indisputable, unquestionable,
definitive, watertight
truths.

A belief worthy of
death,
torture, mockery,
persecution,
martyrdom.
killing even.

There is
only one true religion,
one abiding faith.
The rest
are charlatans,
fakes.

Ask any supporter
of Liverpool F.C.

Diagnosis

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Diagnosis

Audiology, said,
Cardiology, heard
Neurology, the ward she did venture.
Which is maybe as well,
because, deaf as a bell,
she also had early dementia.

A cockney delicacy

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A cockney delicacy

If ever I feel
the urge to eat eel,
then, please hit me over the head.
They are slimy and smelly
and just cos they're jellied.
why on earth would I eat one that's dead?

Spell Check

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Spell Check

An NHS letter
arrived at my menage,
advising I'd better
get down Burnley Collage,
collage? for a booster
of covid protection.
I gave the note extra
closer inspection.
Silly old sausage,
the letter's a collage,
subliminal message
was maybe a massage?

Fall

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Fall

I bud,
unfurl
and leaf.

Then would
I curl
and leave.
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