King Cnut

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on
King Cnut

Old King Cnut
was a well handsome brute,
his dyslexia seemed such a shame.
His royal entourage
lost their decolletage,
whenever the man signed his name.


Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on

She collected lovers
in a similar way that others
gathered ornamental cats,
Lalique glassware, table mats,
snuff boxes, candelabra,
oil paintings of french harbours,
thimbles, needles, pins,
old tools for making things.

Long-dead silver watches,
samplers and swatches,
diamonds, set in rings,
in fact, any little thing.
No requirement to walk
or even merely talk,
prepared for undercover,
then you could be her lover.

Singing bug

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on
Singing bug

A fat creepy-crawly,
with a voice that was surely
the world's most beguiling descant,
when her nephew poured praise
with unfitting phrase,
said,"Your uncle's extant, I'm your aunt."


Photo by cottonbro on

He desired a tattoo
on his 'how do you do'
and was charged by the inch,
so did not feel the pinch.
Requesting Llandudno,
he settled for Ludo.

Production Line

Photo by Todd Trapani on
Production Line

Her favourite chicken
for many a year,
Produces an egg
whene'er she appears.
This chicken has eggs
coming out of her ears.


Photo by cottonbro on

of a need
to understand
our origins.

The product
of vivid imaginations
and stirring storytelling.

Hijacked by kings,
and popes,
and fanatics.

over history and time
indisputable, unquestionable,
definitive, watertight

A belief worthy of
torture, mockery,
killing even.

There is
only one true religion,
one abiding faith.
The rest
are charlatans,

Ask any supporter
of Liverpool F.C.


Photo by EVG Culture on

Audiology, said,
Cardiology, heard
Neurology, the ward she did venture.
Which is maybe as well,
because, deaf as a bell,
she also had early dementia.

A cockney delicacy

Photo by cottonbro on
A cockney delicacy

If ever I feel
the urge to eat eel,
then, please hit me over the head.
They are slimy and smelly
and just cos they're jellied.
why on earth would I eat one that's dead?

Spell Check

Photo by Thirdman on
Spell Check

An NHS letter
arrived at my menage,
advising I'd better
get down Burnley Collage,
collage? for a booster
of covid protection.
I gave the note extra
closer inspection.
Silly old sausage,
the letter's a collage,
subliminal message
was maybe a massage?


Photo by Pixabay on

I bud,
and leaf.

Then would
I curl
and leave.
%d bloggers like this: