Frog in the throat

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Frog in the throat

When the frog lost his ribbit
It was quick to inhibit
His world-renowned talent for courting.
A medicinal soak
Soon sorted his croak
And now all his tadpoles are snorting.

The stud

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The Stud

When he met his creator,
Thinking 'reincarnator'
Pete asked to come back as a stud.
He felt somewhat let down
Strolling back into town
As a football boot covered in mud.

Older

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Older

A little bit wiser
a little bit bolder
a little bit greyer
a little bit older.

Slightly less hair
slightly less huff
slightly more patience
slightly more puff.

A touch less panic
a touch less worry
a touch more thoughtful
a touch less hurry.

Another pill
a bit more weight
a bit more skill
a lot less hate.

The fussy seagull

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The fussy seagull

Mrs Gull's daughter
Refused to drink water
Complaining the ocean was salty.
So, selling her jewellery
They moved to a brewery
For drinks that were varied, but malty.

The honeymoon

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The honeymoon

With her ankles peripheral in vision,
The young man was set on his mission
To have and to hold
As in stories of old,
Cementing their love with a frisson.

Charlie Spooner’s Whores

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Charlie Spooner's Whores

Harley, flopping the moors
Whilst chewing his doors
Heard his wife, with arms bossing her crust,
Serrating him bay,
"That is not the white ray,
You're just making dashings of lust."

Mrs Caesar

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Mrs Caesar

Emperor Julius Caesar
Did a lot for his missus to please her,
When she said, could they go
To somewhere that had snow
He bought her a giant chest freezer.

Telling the parents

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Telling the parents

She picked a quiet moment
when all around was hushed,
to say she'd fallen pregnant
or was, more precisely, pushed.

Mixed Emotions

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Mixed Emotions

The cherry blossom's on the tree,
yet once again, it's raining.
I'm in good health, I'm Covid-free,
I shouldn't be complaining.

The Lower House

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The Lower House

Watching porn on his phone,
in the House, not at home,
he was bound to make six-o-clock News,
following Sharon Stone slur,
what next will occur
to scandalise - nude PMQs?

A conservative MP has been accused of watching porn on his phone whilst working.
The Lower House:  House of Commons, UK.
Sharon Stone: A female MP was accused of behaving Sharon Stone like to distract the opposition.
PMQ:  Prime Minister's Question Time.
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