We’re Back!

Dauphy: Good to be back home?

Hobbo: Great to be back. A smashing holiday though!

Dauphy: I really enjoyed it. De-stressed my paws.

Hobbo: Ready to get cracking with some new poems then?

Dauphy: Yeah, go for it…

V Day

Dauphy: Valentine’s day tomorrow. Have you got me anything?

Hobbo: You know what I think about Valentine’s Day, so no!

Dauphy: Well, I’ve written you a poem.

Hobbo: That’s really sweet of you.

Dauphy: So, you might see your way to some extra treats?

Hobbo: I don’t see why not. I’ve written a sonnet for tomorrow.

Dauphy: For Mrs Hobbo?

Hobbo: Of course.

Dauphy: Hecky thump!

Hobbo: What do you mean?

Dauphy: Don’t you remember what she thought of your last effort at romance?

Hobbo: No.

Dauphy: Well…

Tykes Talking

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Tykes Talking

Gerrit canyer?
Weir?
Sin tin.
Tint.
Tis.
Tin tin tin.
Tis!
Tint!
Tis, sithee.
Reet.
Clart he'ud!

Dauphy: What the heck is this?

Hobbo: It’s two Tykes talking.

Dauphy: Tykes?

Hobbo: Yorkshiremen or women.

Dauphy: In what language? Martian?

Hobbo: English!

Dauphy: Well it’s not any English I know!

Hobbo: It’s Yorkshire dialect. Do you want a translation?

Dauphy: I think you’d better. If I don’t understand it, the readers won’t have a Scooby Doo!

Hobbo: You’d be surprised.

Dauphy: Pfft!

Yorkshiremen Talking

Would you kindly get that for me, young man?
Where is it?
It is in the tin. (usually a biscuit tin)
It is not.
It is.
It is not in the tin.
It is. I assure you!
And I assure you, it isn't!
It is. Look it's here.
Ah. Right. I see where you mean now.
Cloth head! (stupid idiot!)

Little Miss Muffet

Hobbo: You look a bit tired mate.

Dauphy: I’ve been up all night writing a poem.

Hobbo: What’s it about?

Dauphy: Those special days that you sometimes post.

Hobbo: Let’s hear it then.

Little Miss Muffet (by Dauphy)

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her buffet
Eating her pie and peas
Too hot for her knees
They fell on the floor
And little Miss Muffet
Said,"Stuff it."

Dauphy: What do you think?

Hobbo: Er…

Dauphy: You don’t like it. Do you?

Hobbo: It’s not that. It’s not National Buffet day today, it’s National Buffet day.

Dauphy: Buffet as in loads of food gets dropped on the floor for me to eat?

Hobbo: That’s the one.

Dauphy: Now you tell me! It took ages to write that.

Hobbo: I suppose she could have gotten her pie and peas from the buffet?

Dauphy. Brilliant! That’s what I meant all along. We make a great team don’t we?

Finished

Hobbo: That’s it Dauphy. We’ve finished. A new post for every page on the blog.

Dauphy: Er, I don’t want to disappoint you but…

Hobbo: But what?

Dauphy: You haven’t done a monologue!

Hobbo: Bugger. I forgot about those.

Dauphy: If we keep quiet, I don’t think anyone will notice!

Hobbo: You’re probably right. You’ve worked hard. Time for you to put your paws up.

Dauphy: Thanks, and a few extra treats maybe?

Hobbo: Okay, but not too many. Don’t want you getting fat!

Dauphy: But before you open that bottle of scotch you’ve got your eye on, let us both wish ALL our readers…

Hobbo and Dauphy: A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES! xx

New Year’s Eve

Hobbo: New Year’s Eve tomorrow Dauphy!

Dauphy: Who’s Eve?

Hobbo: It’s the last day of the year. We are going to do something a bit special!

Dauphy: Special, as in extra food special?

Hobbo: No. Special, as in we are going to try and put a post on each of the categories of our home page!

Dauphy: Sounds like a lot of work to me! I suppose you’ll want a hand?

Hobbo: If you don’t mind?

Dauphy: In that case, I’m off for a kip. See you in the morning…

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