Careful what you wish for

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Be careful what you wish for

2020
Brexit hogs the headlines
Brexit every day
Brexit with it's deadlines
Please make it go away.

2021
Covid's killed so many
Randomly it slew
What I'd give for any
Piece of Brexit news.

Our cunning plan

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Our cunning plan

No procrastination!
Even if you disagree
Please get your vaccination
For we have no great 'plan B'.

Prime Minister Material

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Prime Minister Material

Bumbling Boris bungles Britain's biggest battle.

Dauphy: I like that Hobbo. I’ve been keeping an eye on America for you, like you asked?

Hobbo: And?

Dauphy: Well that Trump’s a greedy so and so!

Hobbo: What makes you say that?

Dauphy: Boats! What’s he want nearly twelve thousand boats for?

Hobbo: I think you’ll find that’s votes Dauphy, not boats.

Dauphy: Well who’s this Georgia woman anyway?

Hobbo: Here Dauphy, borrow these…

Hobbo leans down and passes Dauphy his old hearing aids. Dauphy puts them in.

Dauphy: Thanks. I can see much better now!

We shall overcome

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We shall overcome

Our fragile global community
Must seize this opportunity
Have the vaccine
Against Covid 19
Until each of us has herd immunity.

The eve of what exactly?

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The eve of what exactly?

New year's Eve is symbolic
We should put on our glad rags and frolic
Though not anymore
We've been put in tier four
So, pity the poor alcoholic.

Tie the Covid 19 down

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This is for our Australian friends down under. It can be sung to the tune of ‘Tie me kangaroo down sport.’

Tie the Covid 19 down

We've got Covid 19, sport
We've got Covid 19
We've got Covid 19, sport
We've got Covid 19.

It's worse than any world war, sport
It's worse than any world war
It's worse than any world war, sport
Worse than any world war.

We've been put in tier four, sport
We've been put in tier four
We've been put in tier four, sport
We've been put in tier four.

We're gonna get a vaccine, sport
We're gonna get a vaccine
We're gonna get a vaccine sport
We're gonna get a vaccine.

So the virus is stuffed, sport
So the virus is stuffed
So the virus is stuffed, sport
So the virus is stuffed.

Then we will go on the beer, sport
Then we will go on the beer
Then we will go on the beer, sport
Then we will go on the beer.

Here's to twenty two one, sport
Here's to twenty two one
Here's to twenty two one sport
Here's to twenty two one.

Here's two fingers to you, Covid
Here's two fingers to you
Here's two fingers to you, Covid
Here's two fingers to you.

Hobbo: We had to search hard for this version!

Dauphy: Yep. The others were all by that Aussie called Ro…

Hobbo: That’s enough Dauphy. We don’t mention that name!

Dauphy: Why?

Hobbo: You’re too young…

New Covid Rules

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New Covid Rules

Snow White
is in Tier 4
and according
to the law
can only bubble
with one chappie
and he's a dwarf
but he is Happy!

We found a cure!

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We found a cure!

She worked day after day and with vigour
Selfless unstinting and tireless
To stop radios being de rigueur
And cure the disease, 'Own a Wireless.'


Christmas 2020

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Christmas 2020

It was Christmas Eve at Santa's
And Rudolph had not made the squad
The others, were all out delivering
And he had been left on his tod.

A positive test had floored Rudolph
Suspected of Covid nineteen
The North Pole was too isolated
To get there, with virus vaccine.

The reindeer was sat with his feet up
Toasting his hooves by the fire
His nose getting redder and redder
The flames growing higher and higher.

Suddenly, whoosh, an explosion
Like the big bang, but more loud
Disturbed Rudolph's snooze by the fire
Covering the world in a cloud.

His nose had ignited the fairy dust
Used to make presents for kids
And the cloud which now covered our planet
Was it fatal? No, heaven forbids.

The dust was now targeting Covid
The virus was weakened, then killed
Now we all get to celebrate Christmas
And Rudolph, our hero, is thrilled.

Dauphy: More loud? You’ll have Don’s grammar police on to you!

Not Me

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Not Me
A talented sculptor, artistic
With a lifestyle, described hedonistic
Thin as a waif
Assumed he was safe
From Covid, is one more statistic.
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