Hobbo's Poems
A quirky look at life from a Yorkshire poet and his dog's perspective
Sacked
Posted on 1st Jul 2021
Dauphy: Good morning!
Hobbo: Morning Dauphy, you’ve not been on for a while.
Dauphy: No, I am going into semi-retirement.
Hobbo: Very wise at your age. The readers will miss you though.
Dauphy: I’ve written another for our blog.
Hobbo: Let’s hear it then….
Sacked (by Dauphy) She asked her dog to give her paws, He passed her the remote, "You fool," she said,"I don't mean pause, Get out, go get your coat."
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Pet Choice
Posted on 10th Jun 2021
Dauphy: Lovely day Hobbo.
Hobbo: Indeed it is, beautiful.
Dauphy: Have you had your jabs yet?
Hobbo: Yes, both of them.
Dauphy: Do I need vaccinating?
Hobbo: Well yes, every year, but not against covid.
Dauphy: Why not?
Hobbo: Don’t worry, dogs can’t catch it. I’ve written a poem I think you will like this morning.
Dauphy: I like most of them…
Pet Choice
When children are yearning a pet,
Choose with care, or you'll live to regret.
Fishes, you don't need to walk,
Parrots of course, love to talk.
If your neighbour continually rants,
Buy a tom cat to crap on his plants.
Instead of a horse, get a donkey,
And claim it's a pony, but wonky.
All rodents, like rats, come in cheap
But beavers are buggers to keep.
Consider a fluffy white rabbit,
Though they eat their own shit, dirty habit.
Elephants, I don't recommend,
The things that they touch, tend to bend.
Monkeys are good for a laugh,
Or, not scared of heights, a giraffe.
Not much room, try a budgie, or frog
But the best pet by miles is a dog.
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We’re Back!
Posted on 31st May 2021
Dauphy: Good to be back home?
Hobbo: Great to be back. A smashing holiday though!
Dauphy: I really enjoyed it. De-stressed my paws.
Hobbo: Ready to get cracking with some new poems then?
Dauphy: Yeah, go for it…
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Holidays
Posted on 20th May 2021
Hobbo: After today, there won’t be any posts for a week or so.
Dauphy: Why not?
Hobbo: We are going on holiday.
Dauphy: Can I come?
Hobbo: Of course, you always do!
Dauphy: Not always. You left me with a dog sitter once, remember?
Hobbo: I do. You disgraced yourself with that dalmatian!
Dauphy: It was love at first sniff…
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Hozzy
Posted on 7th May 2021
Dauphy: You’re late today buddy!
Hobbo: Been to the hospital.
Dauphy: Nothing serious?
Hobbo: No, not at all. It’s just that tremor in my hands, they’re trying to improve it.
Dauphy: That’s good. Get on with it then. Your readers are waiting!…..
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Dauphy writes…
Posted on 1st Apr 2021
Dauphy writes... The dog who ignores Having paws, without cause, Will get sores on his paws, Unless he has claws.
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Dauphy’s Scentmark Verse
Posted on 28th Feb 2021
Dauphy: I’ve written a Scentmark verse for Chelsea Owens.
Hobbo: It was Hallmark Dauphy, not Scentmark.
Dauphy: She won’t mind! Will you ask her for me?
Hobbo: I will…
Dauphy's Scentmark Verse
You are my
eagle in a Beagle
the noir in Malinois
my pug on a rug
the wow in a Chihuahua
the asset in a Basset
the bits in a Spitz
the box in a Boxer
and the no in a Norwich.
You are my whip in a Whippet
the sky in Husky
the oodle in a poodle
the salut in Saluki
the span of a Spaniel
the malt in a Maltese
far greater
than a Dane.
You are
the order in my Border
neater than an Akita
or the box in a Boxer
you are my Labrador
the one that I adore.
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Dauphy’s Valentine
Posted on 14th Feb 2021
Dauphy: Here is the Valentine I wrote for you.
Hobbo: Aww. Thank you!
Dauphy's Valentine
I'm more than just a trophy dog
I'll always be your Dauphy dog
You take me out in every weather
We've even been on swims together
You pick my crap up when I poo
Not something all the others do
You treat me kind and feed me well
You bath me when I start to smell
We walk for hours through the wood
You let me roll about in mud
You give me scraps from off the roast
And let me pee on every post
You put my coat on when it's cold
We both walk slowly now we're old
We have long talks, I don't say much
I use my eyes to keep in touch
You love it when I greet you home
Reward me with a gravy bone
You are the biscuit of my eye
I'll love you till the day I die
One last thing, I wonder whether
We should sniff some butts together!
Hobbo: That’s really sweet Dauphy. Thank you!
Dauphy: Can I have a nap now?
Hobbo: Of course. Just one thing though. The butt sniffing, not a good idea!
Dauphy: Why not? I thought you’d like that.
Hobbo: It’s more of a dog thing…
Dauphy: Fair enough. I’m off for a kip. It made my head hurt writing all that…
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V Day
Posted on 13th Feb 2021
Dauphy: Valentine’s day tomorrow. Have you got me anything?
Hobbo: You know what I think about Valentine’s Day, so no!
Dauphy: Well, I’ve written you a poem.
Hobbo: That’s really sweet of you.
Dauphy: So, you might see your way to some extra treats?
Hobbo: I don’t see why not. I’ve written a sonnet for tomorrow.
Dauphy: For Mrs Hobbo?
Hobbo: Of course.
Dauphy: Hecky thump!
Hobbo: What do you mean?
Dauphy: Don’t you remember what she thought of your last effort at romance?
Hobbo: No.
Dauphy: Well…
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Dauphy’s snail poem
Posted on 12th Feb 2021
Dauphy: Valentines Day on Sunday.
Hobbo: I’ve not got you anything. I’ve told you, it’s a commercial rip off.
Dauphy: What about Mrs Hobbo?
Hobbo: She knows where I stand on the matter.
Dauphy: Not even extra treats?
Hobbo: Wait and see.
Dauphy: I might write you a poem!
Hobbo: That would be nice. I’ll look forward to it.
Dauphy: You look a bit stressed this morning. I’ve written a little ditty to cheer you up.
Hobbo: Take it away…
Dauphy's snail poem The cute little snail Leaves snot in his trail Wherever he goes So please wipe his nose.
Dauphy: What do you think?
Hobbo: It’s a bit juvenile.
Dauphy: I am a dog remember…
