Hobbo's Poems
A quirky look at life from a Yorkshire poet and his dog's perspective
Bathing the dog
Posted on 9th May 2021
Bathing the dog
You're too muddy, buddy, it's time for a bath.
If you think, in the sink, then you're having a laugh.
Get those paws out of doors, where the hosepipe is waiting.
Yesterday, a delay, now there's no hesitating.
First, wet you through, with the head set to spray,
Then unscrew the shampoo, don't you dare run away!
Rub it in, to the skin, get a nice soapy lather.
Oh, sad eyes, no surprise, I know that you'd rather
Be racing, ball chasing, or searching for food.
Oh dear, what's this here, whilst I'm in the mood.
Pull these manky old cankers, stuck to your bum,
A good rinse will evince, that you're nearly done chum.
Now a couple of supple old towels to dry,
And a push with the brush, get that hair out your eye.
You look sleek as a Greek, oh for goodness sake,
You avenge, get revenge, with a brisk body shake!
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Scoop that poop
Posted on 8th May 2021
Scoop that poop What a hullabaloo About picking up poo. Simply, bag it and bin it, As soon as you've seen it. Don't pull that stunt Of walking in front Of your dog when it poos, Pretending it's news. Claim, you were not aware That she'd left her mess there. Pick it up, it's your show, Fait comme il faut. Fait comme il faut: Do what is necessary
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Canine Therapy
Posted on 23rd Mar 2021
Canine Therapy If your work's in a mess And your mind's in a fog, If you're feeling depressed, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If your love life is crap And you need a good snog, If your boyfriend's got clap, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you can't find your prince, And you're stuck with a frog, If you've lost your blue rinse, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you're fed up at home, Sick of cleaning the bog, You've no teeth in your comb, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you want high heeled shoes, And you've only one clog, When you've got Monday blues, Grab a leash, walk the dog. You are driving the motor, But you're just a small cog, Then, stuff that new rota, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you married a hunk, And he turned out, a hog There's no need to get drunk, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If your drink is cocktail, And you're given egg nog, Put some wind in your sail, Grab a leash, walk the dog. So, when nothing seems right In your back catalogue, Make the world look more bright, Grab a leash, walk the dog.
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Dauphy’s Scentmark Verse
Posted on 28th Feb 2021
Dauphy: I’ve written a Scentmark verse for Chelsea Owens.
Hobbo: It was Hallmark Dauphy, not Scentmark.
Dauphy: She won’t mind! Will you ask her for me?
Hobbo: I will…
Dauphy's Scentmark Verse
You are my
eagle in a Beagle
the noir in Malinois
my pug on a rug
the wow in a Chihuahua
the asset in a Basset
the bits in a Spitz
the box in a Boxer
and the no in a Norwich.
You are my whip in a Whippet
the sky in Husky
the oodle in a poodle
the salut in Saluki
the span of a Spaniel
the malt in a Maltese
far greater
than a Dane.
You are
the order in my Border
neater than an Akita
or the box in a Boxer
you are my Labrador
the one that I adore.
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Cats
Posted on 21st Jan 2021
Cats Meerkats, queer cats Kit-Kats and kitty cats Top Cats, tom cats Caterpillar, Cheshire cats. Cat's paw, cat's claw Cat's cradle, caterwaul Cat O'Nine- Tails Cats with nine lives. Fighting like a Cat and dog Who let that cat out the bag? Curiosity, My dogs name. He'll kill those cats And take the blame.
Dauphy: I wouldn’t kill a cat. I’m not like that!
Hobbo: It’s just a saying, curiosity killed the cat.
Dauphy: Why?
Hobbo: Dunno.
Dauphy: I’d chase one though. I like chasing cats!
Hobbo: And squirrels
Dauphy: Oh yes, squirrels too!
Hobbo: What would you do if you ever caught one?
Dauphy: I’ve not thought of that. Play with it I suppose…
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My Bezzie (by Dauphy)
Posted on 4th Jan 2021
My Bezzie (by Dauphy) Bella, beautiful girl. My best pal. We chased squirrels We chased cats We chased each other. Why did you have to tear your pad? Why wouldn't it heal? Why did you leave me? I miss you so much! Hobbo does too but not in the same fun loving stick carrying butt sniffing unconditional way that only a dog will ever truly understand. Goodbye Bella save me a place in doggy heaven.
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Granddad
Posted on 17th Oct 2020
Granddad Granddad loved his dogs He'd kept them all his life So when he popped his clogs He left one to his wife.
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Rain
Posted on 4th Oct 2020
Rain Manx, Sphynx, Siamese Pug, Cairn, Labrador It's raining cats and dogs.
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R.I.P my friends
Posted on 21st Sep 2020
I’ve been sent a video of my recently departed mate Dauphy playing with me and his pal Bella. It’s only short and I thought I’d share it with you. It gives you a sense of what a great team the three of us made.
Hobbo
