Photo by Maria Orlova on

King or queen, 
Vicar or tart,
We all have to lean
When we're sitting, to fart.

Political Life

Photo by Markus Spiske on
Political Life

You don't need tuition
To turn politician,
Simply waffle and wear a big grin.
But to be a female
In this kingdom of males
You're sure to need much thicker skin.


Photo by Markus Spiske on

If you hate me
because I am different;
you are a brute.

If you dislike me
because of the difference;
you are intolerant.

If you embrace
my difference;
we could become friends.

If you don't notice
I am different;
we are brother and sister
and the world has hope.

The Big Sleep

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on
The Big Sleep

You can't buy your way out.
Fame doesn't help.
Luck will not escape it.
You can not reason with it.

Religion won't save you
and kindness is treated
with the same disregard
as wickedness.

When it's your turn,
all you can do
is surrender yourself
to its secret.

Levelling up

Photo by Ryan Millier on
Levelling up

We're building a high-speed train link
to run between London and Crewe,
shorten the journey by seconds
and dubbed by the press HS2.

What about cities Manchester, Leeds
and your promise of boosting the North?
Way too expensive, we've cancelled those links
The North, I'm afraid, can fuck orf!

Unfair Advantage

Photo by on
Unfair Advantage

The Captain Fantastic,
Who racked up the hat-tricks,
Transferred for a glittering prize.
Shunned Man. United,
Picked Burnley, excited,
Egged on by the lure of their pies.

Yorksher equality

Photo by Katerina Holmes on
Yorksher equality

Pints for ladies,
Men having babies,
I'm all for equality, me.
Education for women,
Men, synchronised swimming,
-But, expected to make me own tea!

The things posh people do

Photo by jae park on
Things that posh people do

If you are intimidated
By men with lots of dosh
Or you get exasperated
With a woman talking posh,
Then spare a thought
For things they do,
When they disport
Like me and you.

They enter earth
Completely nude, it's
So the nurse
Can see their rude bits.
A good long year
They shit at will
And make it clear
They're volatile.

Once toilet trained
They use the loo
And unrestrained,
They'll wee and poo.
Growing older
They learn to fight
As they get bolder
For their rights.

They do have sex
Like me and you,
Yep, with their ex,
They do that too.
They'll cheat, defraud,
Amass, be greedy
Hide their hoard
For when they're needy.

These people Porsche
Are just like us,
(Except, of course,
Won't catch a bus).
They tell you many things untrue,
To save their skins, they lie,
Then, just the same as me and you,
They curl their toes, and die.

The class system

Photo by Black ice on
The Class System

There are people out there
Who are devil-may-care,
Don't do what is fair
Or count who they scare
And will steal whatso'er
Howso'er and when'er.

Or the vin-ordinaire
Who live laissez faire,
For whom life's an armchair,
To snooze unaware,
Without having to bare
Their soul anywhere.

But the people who dare,
Are the humans who care
That we all have our share,
Who seek to repair
That unjust affair.
For them, say a prayer.


Photo by Judita Tamou0161iu016bnaitu0117 on

It's not my wheelchair
That makes me disabled,
But the way the world's built
And designed for enabled.
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