Referee

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Referee!

Referee, why can't you see
How much United mean to me.
It was a goal, and not offside,
So, let it stand. Restore my pride.

Our striker's shot, hit like a rocket,
You must be in, the City's pocket.
I'm annoyed, and with good reason,
You have ruined our whole season.

The football match

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The football match

My debut for the 'dads v lads'
The shortest you could see
Substituted me, the cads
Straight after 'take the knee'.

Spitting Images

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Spitting images

Double barrelled, a name
Was sign of breeding, or fame
Now in ultra slow mo's
They spit, clear their nose
And football's their game.

You must be joking

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You are joking!

Whilst watching the footy
Reclined with a BLT butty
Heard a joke that was smutty
About a plumber and putty.

BLT: Bacon, lettuce and tomato
a popular sandwich in the UK

Ambition

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Ambition
I read in the papers that Burnley
Are getting a striker, that's cool
They only paid twenty five million
He probably still goes to school.
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