Posted on 23rd Feb 2021
For the price of ten fags and a beer
The sailor had caught gonorrhea
When his wife made advances
He didn't take chances
He told her he'd got diarrhoea.
Posted on 19th Feb 2021
This was a genuine conversation in the pharmacist’s yesterday. Fortunately there were no other customers. Readers of a delicate disposition need read no further…
Hobbo: Have you anything for hemorrhoids please?
Hobbo: (Shouting) Hemorrhoids, have you anything for hemorrhoids?
Chemist: Emma who? I can’t hear you. Can you lower your mask please.
Hobbo: (Does so) Hemorrhoids, piles, have you anything for piles?
Chemist: Oh! You should have said! (indicates articles on shelf) We have these or this.
Chemist: Suppositories. You put them up your bottom.
Hobbo: Er, I’ll give them a miss thanks. What’s the other.
Chemist: It’s a cream. My mother has piles, and she swears by it!
Hobbo: What does she say? it doesn’t bloody work!
Chemist: She swears it helps her.
Hobbo: Okay, I’ll take some. How much is it?
Chemist: £4.20 for the small one(indicates Lilliputian sized box) or £6.20 for this (indicates box large enough to treat a platoon of hemorrhoid sufferers for the next 10 years).
Hobbo: Better take the large one…
Posted on 25th Jan 2021
The caring profession A woman with problems, Fallopian Saw a specialist doc, Ethiopian Eighteen kids later She sued this creator For spoiling her life style, Utopian.
Posted on 24th Jan 2021
Men are often criticised for not talking openly about their health problems. Well, I had a discussion with a good friend of mine recently about just that. Consequently, he gave me an amazing piece of advice which, in the spirit of openness, I would like to share with our male readers. It is slightly embarrassing, but hey, that’s why we don’t discuss things isn’t it? Ladies of a delicate disposition need read no further, unless they too, have a partner of a certain age who has what can most tactfully be described as a dripping tap problem.
The advice is in rhyme, of course, but it does work. Dauphy is offering a free pack of ‘TENA Men’ pads to the first male reader who claims that it doesn’t.
You're having a laugh! A problem, I had I was losing my grip Visit the toilet Then, permanent drip, You're having a laugh! Come on, don't deny it. Urologist grinned Just try it, just try it. When you are finished before you re-dress Reach behind goolies Between your legs, press. It works every time Don't know why, don't know how And who really cares? I've got dry undies, now!
Posted on 1st Jan 2021
Black Clouds Woke up. Didn't want to. In a foul mood. Another resolution wasted. Challenged God to take me. Didn't work. Head thumping. Stomach washer-ing. Limbs trembling. Feel awful. Covid? Don't think so. More like death. Drag myself up. Walk/crawl to bathroom. Head bowed. Let me die. Please God! I hate hangovers.
Posted on 26th Oct 2020
Diagnosis Water on the brain So the doctor said "Don't worry," she explained "A quick tap on the head."
Posted on 17th Oct 2020
Coronavirus Days In happier days To paraphrase Folk led a great existence Now they deep clean Covid 19 And keep their social distance.