House Hunting

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House Hunting

The advert says a lovely view.
Could you please show me where?
I gladly will, young man if you
Could kindly grab that chair.

That's it, climb up, no not the seat,
The back sir, if you will,
Then carefully please place your feet
One there, one on the sill.

Now close one eye, no, just the one
And squint a bit, like me.
Look out that way, five hundred yards,
You'll almost glimpse the sea.

Snobbery

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Snobbery

I've tried keeping up with the Joneses.
To be frank, it's a load of baloney.
Now if I see a spade, it's a shovel
And I drag people down to my level.
Much better being honest, I find,
Advantage, it's all in the mind.

Sound familiar?

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Sound familiar?

Cup of coffee, darling?
No thanks. Occupied.
Response a little tetchy,
was that a roll of eyes?

Here it is, my dear!
What's this?
Your cup of tea,
make it yourself next time,
don't go asking me!

But it was me who asked you!
You must think me green,
next time you want a cuppa,
say what you bloody mean!

Petiquette

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Petiquette

Many a legion
of butts, nether regions
are sniffed, every day by our pets
without any fuss.
They're more honest than us.
A four pawed salute to Debrett's.

Truth

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Reading a post by Mr Bump about ‘Truthful Tuesday’, I got to thinking about certain questions to which it is very difficult to be totally honest and tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The ‘little white lie’ sometimes has to prevail.

Here are a few examples, but you can probably think of better ones.

How fast do you think you were going, sir?

Does my bum look big in this?

Where do babies come from?

Is this going to hurt?

If we were totally honest about what we were thinking all the time, it would be very hurtful, or would it?

Hobbo

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