Foreign Languages

Photo by Rodolfo Clix on
Foreign Languages

Baa Lambs and Moo-cows
Gee-gees and Bow-wows,
Brum-brums and Poo-poos,
Quack-quacks and Choo-choos.

Bon-bons and Yum-yums.
Knick-knacks and Tum-tums,
Night-nights and Wee-wees,
You're eighteen! Just talk please!


Photo by Markus Spiske on

I lost my dear friend, Laura,
Will never see her again,
If I had gone before her,
She'd have caught the right damn train!

A tight fit

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on
A tight fit

Squeals of delight
Heard through the door,
"Yes, that is tight,
Give it some more."

With sweat on his brow,
He eased the thing in,
All he had to do now,
Make sure it would spin.

"Missus, that's great,
Turn the dial down to thirty,
My plumbing's first rate,
Your clothes won't get dirty."

Mr Greedy

Photo by Magda Ehlers on
Mr Greedy

A man with an appetite noted.
To eating weird food was devoted,
An elephant's trunk,
With a side dish of skunk,
He had to admit, left him bloated.

Dauphy: This isn’t funny!

Hobbo: Why?

Dauphy: It’s about eating animals, and elephants are endangered.

Hobbo: It’s only a joke Dauphy!

Dauphy: Well I think it is bad taste.

Hobbo: So is the skunk…

The bee’s knees

Photo by Hiu1ebfu Hou00e0ng on
The bee's knees

A bee
bent his knee,
to his beautiful queen.
She said,"Honey,
you're funny
and I'm really quite keen."

So they wed
in a shed
abandoned by Gurkhas.
The rector,
said nectar
could be left to the workers.

Mutual Attraction

Photo by Harrison Haines on
Mutual Attraction

Wes, was the son of a gun,
Annie Oakley, a chip of the block,
He discovered that wood can be fun,
And she proved she could handle his stock.

Why men have nipples

Photo by Laker on
Why men have nipples

God said to Adam,
"I'll make you a madam,
But I'll give you some nipples to play,
Then when you meet Eve,
You can make her believe
That you know what you're doing, okay?"

A Briton abroad

Photo by Pixabay on
A Briton abroad

I long for blooming Britain,
To hear the booming Bittern
And I'm stuck in Helsinki
Where life is hell, but kinky.

The Stage

Photo by Monica Silvestre on
The Stage

The whole world is a stage,
Thus spake playwright Willy,
Well, where's my actor's wage?
The man was talking silly!


Photo by Pixabay on

A runaway horse
Trips over a cable,
Reliable source
Says condition stable.
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