Hobbo’s Philosophy

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Hobbo's Philosophy

I am merely a poet,
So, unless I forego it,
I won't change the world overnight,
But if, as you are giggling
A thought begins niggling,
Then, I might, just have done something right.

Wisdom of age

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Wisdom of age

Young bull and old bull, taking time out to chew,
Spy some cows peering over a wall,
"Let's run over there, and we'll service a few."
"Son, we'll walk, and we'll service them all!"

Foreign Languages

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Foreign Languages

Baa Lambs and Moo-cows
Gee-gees and Bow-wows,
Brum-brums and Poo-poos,
Quack-quacks and Choo-choos.

Bon-bons and Yum-yums.
Knick-knacks and Tum-tums,
Night-nights and Wee-wees,
You're eighteen! Just talk please!

Loss

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Loss

I lost my dear friend, Laura,
Will never see her again,
If I had gone before her,
She'd have caught the right damn train!

A tight fit

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A tight fit

Squeals of delight
Heard through the door,
"Yes, that is tight,
Give it some more."

With sweat on his brow,
He eased the thing in,
All he had to do now,
Make sure it would spin.

"Missus, that's great,
Turn the dial down to thirty,
My plumbing's first rate,
Your clothes won't get dirty."

Mr Greedy

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Mr Greedy

A man with an appetite noted.
To eating weird food was devoted,
An elephant's trunk,
With a side dish of skunk,
He had to admit, left him bloated.

Dauphy: This isn’t funny!

Hobbo: Why?

Dauphy: It’s about eating animals, and elephants are endangered.

Hobbo: It’s only a joke Dauphy!

Dauphy: Well I think it is bad taste.

Hobbo: So is the skunk…

The bee’s knees

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The bee's knees

A bee
bent his knee,
to his beautiful queen.
She said,"Honey,
you're funny
and I'm really quite keen."

So they wed
in a shed
abandoned by Gurkhas.
The rector,
said nectar
could be left to the workers.

Mutual Attraction

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Mutual Attraction

Wes, was the son of a gun,
Annie Oakley, a chip of the block,
He discovered that wood can be fun,
And she proved she could handle his stock.

Why men have nipples

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Why men have nipples

God said to Adam,
"I'll make you a madam,
But I'll give you some nipples to play,
Then when you meet Eve,
You can make her believe
That you know what you're doing, okay?"

A Briton abroad

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A Briton abroad

I long for blooming Britain,
To hear the booming Bittern
And I'm stuck in Helsinki
Where life is hell, but kinky.
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