Hobbo's Poems
A quirky look at life from a Yorkshire poet and his dog's perspective
Foreign Languages
Posted on 27th Jul 2021
Foreign Languages Baa Lambs and Moo-cows Gee-gees and Bow-wows, Brum-brums and Poo-poos, Quack-quacks and Choo-choos. Bon-bons and Yum-yums. Knick-knacks and Tum-tums, Night-nights and Wee-wees, You're eighteen! Just talk please!
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Loss
Posted on 19th Jul 2021
Loss I lost my dear friend, Laura, Will never see her again, If I had gone before her, She'd have caught the right damn train!
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A tight fit
Posted on 9th Jul 2021
A tight fit
Squeals of delight
Heard through the door,
"Yes, that is tight,
Give it some more."
With sweat on his brow,
He eased the thing in,
All he had to do now,
Make sure it would spin.
"Missus, that's great,
Turn the dial down to thirty,
My plumbing's first rate,
Your clothes won't get dirty."
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Mr Greedy
Posted on 6th Jul 2021
Mr Greedy A man with an appetite noted. To eating weird food was devoted, An elephant's trunk, With a side dish of skunk, He had to admit, left him bloated.
Dauphy: This isn’t funny!
Hobbo: Why?
Dauphy: It’s about eating animals, and elephants are endangered.
Hobbo: It’s only a joke Dauphy!
Dauphy: Well I think it is bad taste.
Hobbo: So is the skunk…
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The bee’s knees
Posted on 3rd Jul 2021
The bee's knees
A bee
bent his knee,
to his beautiful queen.
She said,"Honey,
you're funny
and I'm really quite keen."
So they wed
in a shed
abandoned by Gurkhas.
The rector,
said nectar
could be left to the workers.
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Mutual Attraction
Posted on 2nd Jul 2021
Mutual Attraction
Wes, was the son of a gun,
Annie Oakley, a chip of the block,
He discovered that wood can be fun,
And she proved she could handle his stock.
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Why men have nipples
Posted on 23rd Jun 2021
Why men have nipples
God said to Adam,
"I'll make you a madam,
But I'll give you some nipples to play,
Then when you meet Eve,
You can make her believe
That you know what you're doing, okay?"
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A Briton abroad
Posted on 21st Jun 2021
A Briton abroad
I long for blooming Britain,
To hear the booming Bittern
And I'm stuck in Helsinki
Where life is hell, but kinky.
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The Stage
Posted on 17th Jun 2021
The Stage The whole world is a stage, Thus spake playwright Willy, Well, where's my actor's wage? The man was talking silly!
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Runaway
Posted on 17th Jun 2021
Runaway
A runaway horse
Trips over a cable,
Reliable source
Says condition stable.
