A quiet meal

It began when my starter, the fish
left a bone in my throat but no wish
and as we moved on to the main
I was in some considerable pain.

Having trouble with something called breathing
which set my poor girlfriend to screaming,
'Please, is there a doc in the place
he's turning quite blue in the face.'

Then a lavatory cleaner named Madge,
laying claim to advanced first-aid badge
offered to help render service,
though the beer on her breath made me nervous.

My girlfriend yelled, 'Quick please begin,
he's not paid yet, you must save his skin,'
but instead of the Heimlich manoeuvre,
she brandished the hose of a hoover,

stuck the pointy end right past my tonsils,
turned the suction to maximum until
the bone popped out, stopping the pain
and yes, I was breathing again.

The waiter played light the ordeal,
'Please enjoy sir the rest of your meal.'
I'm finished though, no more high-rolling,
next time, we are off tenpin bowling.