Posted on 6th Apr 2022
The unwashed diva Her figure was fulsome, nay busty, Her singing voice, wholesome and lusty But lack of hygiene For this opera queen Left an odour both noisome and musty.
Posted on 10th Feb 2022
Hygiene horror Oh my word, those horrid creatures Bombing us with slime-green pizzas On the pavements of our cities Far and wide, it's such a pity These dirty, unhygienic yobs Don't keep their spit inside their gobs.
Posted on 13th Aug 2021
Some scents are delicate,
Others are sweet,
Then there's the alley cat
Who smells like your feet.
Posted on 12th Aug 2021
The naughty cat The naughty cat Shat on the mat, Her owner went bananas, Made him wear Some underwear And salmon pink pyjamas.
Posted on 28th Jun 2021
It may be only a whim,
But I never swim
In the ocean, or sea
Which are full of fish wee.
Posted on 9th May 2021
Bathing the dog
You're too muddy, buddy, it's time for a bath.
If you think, in the sink, then you're having a laugh.
Get those paws out of doors, where the hosepipe is waiting.
Yesterday, a delay, now there's no hesitating.
First, wet you through, with the head set to spray,
Then unscrew the shampoo, don't you dare run away!
Rub it in, to the skin, get a nice soapy lather.
Oh, sad eyes, no surprise, I know that you'd rather
Be racing, ball chasing, or searching for food.
Oh dear, what's this here, whilst I'm in the mood.
Pull these manky old cankers, stuck to your bum,
A good rinse will evince, that you're nearly done chum.
Now a couple of supple old towels to dry,
And a push with the brush, get that hair out your eye.
You look sleek as a Greek, oh for goodness sake,
You avenge, get revenge, with a brisk body shake!
Posted on 19th Nov 2020
Hygiene His teeth scrubbed with a bog brush Which Dave claimed stopped decay Had turned his teeth bright orange And kept the girls away. Bog; UK slang for toilet, bathroom, rest room.