A prospect

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A prospect

I knew she was classy
when she lifted her skirt
and subtly, discreetly,
she sneaked a quick squirt.

Tattoos spelled correctly
seemed a promising sign,
only been once to rehab,
this girl could be mine.

Her several addictions
were all in the past
and with fines up to date,
we'd a romance could last.

She shaves every day,
has but one tiny flaw,
she's still wed to her third,
or did she say four?

Turning sour

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Turning sour

Your love, my dear
is a fragrant rose,
full of dangerous thorns
which get up my nose!

You cheeky old pig,
it's a beating of hearts,
I want yours to stop
so that death do us part!

Wet play

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Wet play

A General Practitioner, fresh qualified,
Took his girl for a trip to the riverside.
Doing things they didn't oughta,
Both fell in the water,
The Doc, on a duck, most undignified.

I can!

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I can!

Decades ago,
a casual friend
and his beautiful wife
had an explosive argument.

In a heady mixture
of lager fueled passion
and crass stupidity
he threw himself
through his bedroom window,
landing fifteen feet below
in a shower of broken glass.

Luckily for him,
he learned to live
with his disability
and settled
fairly contentedly
into life in a wheelchair.
I could not.

In my darkest moments
I still replay that loop,
a continuous 8-track of horror
as he jumps
through the fragile glass barrier.

Can you imagine my pain
if he had been a loved one
and not a casual friend?
If he had not been
confined to a wheelchair
but had died.
Can you really
imagine it?
I can!

I look at my partner
sleeping innocently beside me,
and bend down to kiss her.
Slipping quietly out of bed,
I sneak a few tears
in the shower.

Girl talk

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Girl talk

My girl talks baloney,
which is okay, if only
she'd pause now and then for a breath.
She has me in stitches,
like one of the witches,
the bad tempered one in Macbeth.


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She collected lovers
in a similar way that others
gathered ornamental cats,
Lalique glassware, table mats,
snuff boxes, candelabra,
oil paintings of french harbours,
thimbles, needles, pins,
old tools for making things.

Long-dead silver watches,
samplers and swatches,
diamonds, set in rings,
in fact, any little thing.
No requirement to walk
or even merely talk,
prepared for undercover,
then you could be her lover.


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You're as crucial to me
as the hole in my Polo,
without whom, you see
I'd be so low and solo!


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She seductively took off her clothes,
Her considerable charms to expose.
He was caught unawares
At the sight of her wares
And dropped on one knee to propose.

Booze Cruisin’

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Booze Cruisin'

A love-life oft hinges
on booze fueled binges,
the lure of those wine tinted glasses,
for without alcohol
there is no way at all
most people would dare to make passes.


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When it comes my time to go,
I shall leave it all to you.

You're a lazy so and so,
You already flipping do!
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