Posted on 12th Apr 2021
Spiders, snakes, irrational fear,
Can hold us back, and be severe.
Fear of public speaking, talking
To a crowd, or fear of walking
Open spaces, confined spaces.
Fear of people, fear of faces.
Fear of losing someone dear,
Scared of what our loved ones hear.
Scared to venture, scared to try,
Scared of water, scared to fly.
Deep, dark places, dizzy heights,
Anything can give us frights.
Ridicule, fear of rejection,
Anything, upon reflection.
Fear is human, that's no lie,
Can cripple us, can make us cry.
We need to conquer it, aim high,
Pocket fear, reach for the sky.
Posted on 11th Apr 2021
Dauphy: I’m a bit upset this morning.
Hobbo: Why, what’s up?
Dauphy: That Winston Churchill bloke who you like so much.
Hobbo: What about him?
Dauphy: He used to get depressed.
Hobbo: So he did, yes.
Dauphy: Well, I’ve found out that he called his depression ‘The Black Dog’. That’s not very nice is it?
Hobbo: He didn’t mean anything by it. He loved dogs. It was just a metaphor?
Dauphy: He met a what?
Hobbo: It was his way of externalising it. Making it less scary.
Dauphy: Do you do the same when you get depressed.
Hobbo: I do, yes, but you are the black dog who lifts my mood and gets me out of that depression. Listen at this poem.
Black Dogs This black dog inside my head, Makes me sad, depressed. My black dog, who's just been fed, Is my best pal. I'm blessed
Dauphy: Aw, that’s nice.
Hobbo: Feeling better now?…
Posted on 6th Apr 2021
A little beer in the fridge (A little help from my friends Lennon/McCartney) A little beer in the fridge. My wife has left me, for a man on the sea, And left me alone with the kids. I tried to sell,May for a snip on eBay, But I just couldn't get any bids. I get by with a little beer in the fridge, I get high with a little beer in the fridge. What can I do now my wife is away, Can I play out all night, not go home? How will it look if she's gone off for good, Could I cope all the time on my own? I'll get by with a little beer in the fridge. I get high with a little beer in my fridge. Should I feed anybody? I need some food for the sprogs. Should I please anybody? I've plenty in for the dogs. Why she left me, when she looks such a fright That sailor must be out of his mind. Wait till he sees what she's like in daylight, She'll be back here in double quick time. Should I feed anybody? I need some food for the sprogs. Should I please anybody? I've plenty in for the dogs. I'll get by with a little beer in my fridge. I'll get by with a little beer in my fridge. A little beer in my fridge.
Posted on 1st Apr 2021
The Yorksher Blues My rhubarb won't grow, it's the wrong kind of soil. My moped is slow, and my car's leaking oil. My snake ate my cake, so that now she can't coil. My new metal kettle, has melted, won't boil. I'm bluer than my tattoos, I've got me those Yorksher blues. My dog's chewed my clogs, and he's spewed on the floor. My cat's run away with the tomcat next door. My sister's a mister, whose wife is a whore. I'm a medical miracle close to death's door. I'm bluer than my tattoos, I've got me those Yorksher blues. My missus insists, she won't leave, don't ask why? I know that her beau is a really nice guy. I have seen, she is keen, and I can't tell a lie, Just leave me alone, in my home, and I'll die. I'm bluer than my tattoos, I've got me those Yorksher blues.
Posted on 23rd Mar 2021
Canine Therapy If your work's in a mess And your mind's in a fog, If you're feeling depressed, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If your love life is crap And you need a good snog, If your boyfriend's got clap, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you can't find your prince, And you're stuck with a frog, If you've lost your blue rinse, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you're fed up at home, Sick of cleaning the bog, You've no teeth in your comb, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you want high heeled shoes, And you've only one clog, When you've got Monday blues, Grab a leash, walk the dog. You are driving the motor, But you're just a small cog, Then, stuff that new rota, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If you married a hunk, And he turned out, a hog There's no need to get drunk, Grab a leash, walk the dog. If your drink is cocktail, And you're given egg nog, Put some wind in your sail, Grab a leash, walk the dog. So, when nothing seems right In your back catalogue, Make the world look more bright, Grab a leash, walk the dog.
Posted on 15th Mar 2021
There's snow on the hills
And I've taken my pills.
The psychiatrist thinks me quite sane.
The pigs in the sky,
Yes I know they can't fly,
But they're taking a test just the same.
The voice in my head
That is never quite dead,
Is singing a sad kind of ditty.
I try to write songs
Yet they come out all wrong,
All clangers and smash, more's the pity.
I've got an IQ
Of a hundred and two,
Which puts me, ahead of a half-wit.
I'm friends with the Queen
And my washing machine,
But give me a dollar, I'd halve it.
I live on the moon
With an ageing baboon
Who is wanted in five different countries.
My favourite meal
Is strawberry peel
Which I harvest each autumn from plum trees.
The doc's here again.
She insists, I am sane.
She has the last laugh, no disputing.
The stupid old lush,
I'm as daft as a brush.
Speak to my grandma, Rasputin.
Tick-Tock, round the clock,
I need a new frock.
Tear drop, splobalop, I am barmy.
Dingos and drongos,
I don't want to play in your army.
Posted on 1st Jan 2021
Black Clouds Woke up. Didn't want to. In a foul mood. Another resolution wasted. Challenged God to take me. Didn't work. Head thumping. Stomach washer-ing. Limbs trembling. Feel awful. Covid? Don't think so. More like death. Drag myself up. Walk/crawl to bathroom. Head bowed. Let me die. Please God! I hate hangovers.
Posted on 16th Oct 2020
Coronavirus coronavirus mental health menace we're all social animals.