A brief coffee

Photo by Chevanon Photography on Pexels.com
A brief coffee

An enterprising chorister
was keen to be a barrister
but lack of true cognition
swiftly stifled her ambition,
so, after talks with sister,
she became a top barista.

Wet play

Photo by Billel Moula on Pexels.com
Wet play

A General Practitioner, fresh qualified,
Took his girl for a trip to the riverside.
Doing things they didn't oughta,
Both fell in the water,
The Doc, on a duck, most undignified.

King Cnut

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com
King Cnut

Old King Cnut
was a well handsome brute,
his dyslexia seemed such a shame.
His royal entourage
lost their decolletage,
whenever the man signed his name.

Singing bug

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com
Singing bug

A fat creepy-crawly,
with a voice that was surely
the world's most beguiling descant,
when her nephew poured praise
with unfitting phrase,
said,"Your uncle's extant, I'm your aunt."

Production Line

Photo by Todd Trapani on Pexels.com
Production Line

Her favourite chicken
for many a year,
Produces an egg
whene'er she appears.
This chicken has eggs
coming out of her ears.

Spell Check

Photo by Thirdman on Pexels.com
Spell Check

An NHS letter
arrived at my menage,
advising I'd better
get down Burnley Collage,
collage? for a booster
of covid protection.
I gave the note extra
closer inspection.
Silly old sausage,
the letter's a collage,
subliminal message
was maybe a massage?

Cookin’ on gas

Photo by Kevin Malik on Pexels.com
Cookin' on gas

The radio is on.
Playing their song,
And he is a whiz with a wok,
Rustling up dishes
For his favourite missus,
He is having a rock round the stock.

Eating her words

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com
Eating her words

A sixty-three foot brontosaurus
Somehow swallowed a giant thesaurus,
Became rough, grotesque, crude,
Sharp, barbarous, rude,
Bad, rugged, abrupt, indecorous.

My tools!

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
My tools!

A vicar discovered her clerical
collar, was getting too spherical,
so, she ironed the frill
with her husband's best drill,
which sent the DIY'er hysterical.

Vests in the vestry

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
Vests in the vestry

A woman, addicted to liquor,
Woke up with a twist in her knickers.
They were not M and S,
And her very best guess
Was, she'd got them mixed up with the vicar's.
%d bloggers like this: