Petiquette

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Petiquette

Many a legion
of butts, nether regions
are sniffed, every day by our pets
without any fuss.
They're more honest than us.
A four pawed salute to Debrett's.

Loss

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Loss

It is unbuttered toast,
vegetarian roast,
it's chips with no fish,
your least favourite dish.

Soccer, no goals,
golf without holes,
waterless swimming,
playing, not winning.

Life on your own,
children, all grown,
just family, no friends,
nights which don't end.

It is walks, full of tears,
it's facing your fears,
it is knitting with fog,
this is losing your dog.

Dauphy:  Well said, my friend!
Hobbo: Thanks, Dauphy.

My Pal

My Pal

I love our frequent walks,
The stress reducing talks.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

And I enjoy our little chats,
Play fighting, chasing cats.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

You are never in a mood,
Or picky with your food.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

I knew, right from the start,
You loved me with your heart.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

It is very plain to see,
You are always pleased it's me.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

I love you like a brother,
We are good for one another.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

And you have taught me how
Life should be in the now.
Je suis tien, tu es mien.

Pet Choice

Dauphy: Lovely day Hobbo.

Hobbo: Indeed it is, beautiful.

Dauphy: Have you had your jabs yet?

Hobbo: Yes, both of them.

Dauphy: Do I need vaccinating?

Hobbo: Well yes, every year, but not against covid.

Dauphy: Why not?

Hobbo: Don’t worry, dogs can’t catch it. I’ve written a poem I think you will like this morning.

Dauphy: I like most of them…

Pet Choice

When children are yearning a pet,
Choose with care, or you'll live to regret.
Fishes, you don't need to walk,
Parrots of course, love to talk.
If your neighbour continually rants,
Buy a tom cat to crap on his plants.

Instead of a horse, get a donkey,
And claim it's a pony, but wonky.
All rodents, like rats, come in cheap
But beavers are buggers to keep.
Consider a fluffy white rabbit,
Though they eat their own shit, dirty habit.

Elephants, I don't recommend,
The things that they touch, tend to bend.
Monkeys are good for a laugh,
Or, not scared of heights, a giraffe.
Not much room, try a budgie, or frog
But the best pet by miles is a dog.

Bathing the dog

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Bathing the dog

You're too muddy, buddy, it's time for a bath.
If you think, in the sink, then you're having a laugh.
Get those paws out of doors, where the hosepipe is waiting.
Yesterday, a delay, now there's no hesitating.
First, wet you through, with the head set to spray,
Then unscrew the shampoo, don't you dare run away!
Rub it in, to the skin, get a nice soapy lather.
Oh, sad eyes, no surprise, I know that you'd rather

Be racing, ball chasing, or searching for food.
Oh dear, what's this here, whilst I'm in the mood.
Pull these manky old cankers, stuck to your bum,
A good rinse will evince, that you're nearly done chum.
Now a couple of supple old towels to dry,
And a push with the brush, get that hair out your eye.
You look sleek as a Greek, oh for goodness sake,
You avenge, get revenge, with a brisk body shake!

The dog walker

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The dog walker

She upturned a new leaf,
And found an old shoe.
A bit of relief,
-She was searching for poo.

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