Political Life

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Political Life

You don't need tuition
To turn politician,
Simply waffle and wear a big grin.
But to be a female
In this kingdom of males
You're sure to need much thicker skin.


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Downing Street Parties

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Downing Street Parties

The report should be published;
We may get all the facts.
Those transgressors of rules
Now, could even get sacked.

The breakers of law
On both sides of the house;
Does that include you, 
Mr PM and your spouse?

When the fibbers all leave
It is evident that
The only one left
Will be Larry, the cat.


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She's ballsed it up, 
Her goose is cooked,
Last chance saloon, she's lost the plot.
She's past her best,
She's failed the test,
She'll pay the price, her bolt's been shot.

Her race is run,
She should be hung,
I've had enough, she's full of shit.
She'll pay the price,
Be sacrificed,
She's gone too far, the lying git.

The chips are down,
She's been found out,
The walking dead, she's last night's story.
They'll sling her out,
The lazy lout,
Or one last chance for Teflon Tory?

It’s a Djoke

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It's a Djoke 

In a futile attempt
To argue exempt
The tennis star ended in court.
With posturing absurd
The truth went unheard,
And efforts all crumbled to nought.


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A politician, let him stay nameless,
Lived a life that was totally blameless.
Of course, this depiction
Is nothing but fiction;
We poets are utterly shameless.

Political Party

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Political Party

Let's have a party for Christmas,
I think it's a spiffing idea,
we'll do ten-quid-each Secret Santa,
let Harrods deliver the beer.

But we're meant to be running the country,
we've told people not to have fun;
how will we ever fight Covid
if the public finds out what we've done?

It's one rule for them, one for us
and we'll say that we stuck to the rules,
if that doesn't work, we will lie
and treat them like gullible fools!

A minister in his prime

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A minister in his prime

I'm just not very humble,
I'm a bumbling Prime Minister,
I waffle lots of offal,
it's all tripe and nothing sinister.
I studied  Greek at Uni
and I stutter from my diaphragm,
it's all a load of bollocks,
I can quote Trollope Ad Nauseam.
My ministers administer,
find it hard to keep their trousers on,
I tell them off but they're all toffs
and sometimes they just carry on.

I've not a clue but made Who's Who,
I'm good for every dodgy quote,
my ruffled hair gets everywhere,
I know that I will get your vote.
I am clueless, hopeless, hapless,
sackless, diabolical,
I am a joking, smoking,
parody of allegorical.
It has been said I'm off my head,
the supposition is I'm barmy;
in my favour, for your saviour,
in opposition is Kier Starmy!

The big idea

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The Big Idea

I met a man, who had a plan, a cunning plan to save planet Earth. For what it was worth,
the plan was brilliant, resilient, but his wife said, "No! Not on your life," so, he became an M.P, to sell it, you see.  The P.M, impressed, said that she would invest, but made it perfectly clear that it was her idea.  She said, and I quote, "It will go to the vote."  This amazing proposition, was vetoed by the opposition, who prevented a majority by stating, with authority, that they were not on board because the plan was flawed, too expensive, cost too much, labour intensive nonsensuch!  What price then our planet?  So, rather than it fall at the first fence, which would have made no sense, Parliament, with impunity went to the world community.  Leaders, not the bottom feeders, who mulled the idea over, considered it moreover, agreed, there was no hurry, no need for anyone to worry, everything would work out fine, and could someone pass the wine!

The vacuous politician

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The vacuous politician

I'm a little windbag, short and stout,
Hear me bluster, hear me spout.
Soon becomes quite clear that I know nowt,
Got to wait four years to vote me out.
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