Babies…

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Babies...

Babies need a room to grow,
And ladies have all got 'em,
Big brother told me - he should know,
They fall, out of your bottom!

A rewarding lunch

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A rewarding lunch

Me and the missus
Are doing the dishes.
I'm up to my elbows in suds,
She is wiping away,
When I hear her say.
"Afternoon delight, is for puds!

Insects

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Insects

I expect
that insects
have sex
in sects.

Whilst bees,
I believe,
squeeze,
with their knees!

Medical Staff

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Medical Staff

A physio called Fizz
And a doctor named Liz
Had a steamy and passionate affair.
The poor NHS
Paid for states of undress
Any time, any place, anywhere.

Lounge room lizard

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Lounge room lizard

He purchased a small glass of red
Intending to tempt her to bed,
But he had to stop and rethink
When it turned out she drank like a sink.

Life’s Cycle

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Life's Cycle

I'm a dot in a spot, and feel a bit pasty,
Get some gel in my belly, mmm that's real tasty.
I must be a male, got a tail, think I'll go for a swim,
Two legs, now four legs, they grow on a whim.
The tail's done a bunk, shrunk, time to rest on this log,
Hop off, then cop off with a nice female frog.

Golden Years

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Golden Years

Now I've gotten hairier,
I'm not a kid, instead,
These days, a soft play area
Is what goes on, in bed.

The Joy of Socks

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The Joy of Socks

Socks can be cosy,
Can even keep you warm.
Socks can be soggy,
If caught in a storm.

People who boast socks,
Ten for a penny,
Women who have socks,
Varied and many.

Socks could be costly,
Socks could be free,
If you have odd socks,
Someone's sure to see!

Have socks at Christmas,
Get socks for a treat,
Socks for your birthday,
Or socks you can eat.

Socks could be shortish,
May last all day long.
Socks may be stylish,
Chance to wear that thong.

Socks can be smelly,
Nature's sense of fun,
Better wear a coat,
To stop a little bun.

Socks to have meaning,
Really needs a pair.
Socks all alone is
A rather sad affair.

A slippery customer

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A slippery customer

A snake, of a loving compunction,
Was served, by his wife, an injunction.
She wanted divorce,
Stating reasons because,
Her male had a reptile dysfunction.

The Gigolo

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The Gigolo

The gigolo didn't have much
In his trousers, specifically crutch
When the ladies got rude
He said,"I'm no prude.
You can look, but you'd better not touch."
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