Sunday morning

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Sunday Morning

Birds belt out their standards
from a neighbouring tree
as we cradle cuddles
and a stay-in-bed tea.

A heady aroma
sharing post-nooky yawning,
life's simple treasures
on a sundayspringmorning.

The honeymoon

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The honeymoon

With her ankles peripheral in vision,
The young man was set on his mission
To have and to hold
As in stories of old,
Cementing their love with a frisson.

Springtime

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Springtime

Fresh sap is rising
in the trees,
sweet honey running
for the bees.
The birds are singing
in the breeze
and lovers all
have grass-stained knees.

For spring has sprung
it's in the air,
old Mother earth
lets down her hair
and pretty girls
with shoulders bare
will soon have need
of new pushchair.

Les Hommes

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Les Hommes

They spend
the first nine months
of their lives
working their way
out of our bodies
and the rest
of their lives
figuring out
how
to get back in  again;
men!

Sex scenes

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Sex scenes

The actors who play out
sex scenes on the telly,
to be perfectly frank,
must be really quite smelly.

No matter the mood or
the place or the hour,
there is, afterwards
no thought of a shower.

They roll out of bed and
pull on an old shirt,
no brushing of teeth;
dashing quickly to work.

And, Mr Director, I'm
not one to quibble,
but amongst all that passion,
no mention of dribble.

The old sofa

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The old sofa

If you could tell your tales, you would
have many things to say
about the people, bad and good
who over time did lay

along your padded, comfy length
to watch their latest soap,
relying on your springy strength
to sneak a naughty grope.

How much true passion have you seen,
discretely, you stay shtum
my faithful friend, that's why I'm keen
to simply park my bum.

What a night

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What a night

That wine-loving wife of the vicar's
Woke up in a state with no knickers
In the back of a hearse,
No cash in her purse
And her abdomen covered in stickers.

That garden

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That garden

We stumbled on sex
To be fair,
But in many respects
We don't care.

A woman called Eve
Found a passage;
Was the first, I believe
To play hide the sausage.

Courting

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Courting

They were caught, courting
Little sister reporting
Everything she had seen to her dad,
Who gave them advice
On the price of their vice
But had nothing much further to add.

Cruising

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Cruising

The boyfriend who tried to bamboozle
His girl on a three-month-long cruise'll
Do well to reflect
On the likely effect
If she goes but then sticks with refusal.
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