Photo by Ray Piedra on

Personal trainers,
an utter no-brainer
for dodging those maddening queues.
If you want to look cool,
well, you'd be a fool
to settle for secondhand shoes.

Looking for trouble

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on
Looking for trouble

On eBay she purchased pestle and mortar,
Paid significantly more bang than she oughta.
It arrived Parcel Force
Then she realised, of course!
They had sent her a weaponry mortar.


Photo by Helena Lopes on

A windy mare from Windermere,
polluting half the atmosphere,
dismissed from village in disgrace
and banished to a far off place,
chose residential spot which got 'em,
she picked a town called Elslack Bottom!

Britain’s Got Talent

Photo by Mu00e9line Waxx on
Britain's Got Talent

A gullible
tried his luck
on the programme X-Factor.
Describing himself
as a fiddler.
the audience
cut off his diddler!

Sands of time

Photo by Daniel Jurin on
Sands of time

saw a 
she's seen it 
before. I saw the 
seashore that she saw 
before.  When I saw the seashore, that she saw 
before,the seashore that she saw, was an eyesore,I saw.

A brief coffee

Photo by Chevanon Photography on
A brief coffee

An enterprising chorister
was keen to be a barrister
but lack of true cognition
swiftly stifled her ambition,
so, after talks with sister,
she became a top barista.

King Cnut

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on
King Cnut

Old King Cnut
was a well handsome brute,
his dyslexia seemed such a shame.
His royal entourage
lost their decolletage,
whenever the man signed his name.

Singing bug

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on
Singing bug

A fat creepy-crawly,
with a voice that was surely
the world's most beguiling descant,
when her nephew poured praise
with unfitting phrase,
said,"Your uncle's extant, I'm your aunt."


Photo by Mattia Marcassoli on

She baked me a pud,
deliciously good,
and lovely to have something nice in.
I thought it was rice,
it tasted so nice
but the bastard had given me ricin!

Cookin’ on gas

Photo by Kevin Malik on
Cookin' on gas

The radio is on.
Playing their song,
And he is a whiz with a wok,
Rustling up dishes
For his favourite missus,
He is having a rock round the stock.
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