Brain Food

Photo by Pixabay on
Brain Food

in your bowels
make vowels!

The gas man’s here!

Photo by Pixabay on
The gas man's here!

Gas fitter Dan,
Put a fire in for Anne,
One of his favourite nieces.
The pipe sprung a leak,
Blew them into next week
And now they're both Resting in Pieces.

Charles Dickens’ Sister

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on
Charles Dickens' Sister

Though Dickens didn't crow it,
His sister was a poet,
And, most loved of her ditties,
Was called, A sale of two titties.


Photo by Daniel Friday Danzor on

She could not keep tabs
upon her new bloke,
Mohammed Rizla,
He liked his smoke.

She said, "I am going,
to have to acheter, 
for you, my dear,
a giant ashtray.

acheter: French verb, to buy


Photo by Rasmus Svinding on

Rupert went nude,
Anytime, anywhere,
This little chap, rude,
Was Rupert the Bare!

No peas, please

Photo by Pixabay on
No peas, please

Needing a wee,
The pea weed,
In want of a pee,
The weed peed,
And as for the
Saucy baked bean,
I'm tickled to tell
You, he's been!


Photo by Pixabay on

I expect
that insects
have sex
in sects.

Whilst bees,
I believe,
with their knees!


Dauphy: Good morning!

Hobbo: Morning Dauphy, you’ve not been on for a while.

Dauphy: No, I am going into semi-retirement.

Hobbo: Very wise at your age. The readers will miss you though.

Dauphy: I’ve written another for our blog.

Hobbo: Let’s hear it then….

 Sacked  (by Dauphy)

She asked her dog to give her paws, 
He passed her the remote, 
"You fool," she said,"I don't mean pause, 
Get out, go get your coat." 

Jungle Patrol

Photo by Pixabay on
Jungle Patrol

Zebras, when they are born
Are only prototypes,
Then they're in the army sworn
So they can earn their stripes.

Time Please

Photo by Rachel Claire on
Time Please

He bought her a clock
Which was sold as a click,
Because, instead of tick-tock,
The thing went tock-tick.
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